Let's talk life - My son is disruptive

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  My son is disruptive

Dear Counsellor,

I have a son who is 15 years old and he is not doing well in school. He is disrespectful to his father and me. He does not follow instructions and fights his brothers and sister. My household consists of his father, his siblings, and me. He is smoking and keeping his room untidy. He doesn't see anything wrong with his behaviour and refuses to go to a counsellor.

Dear Monica,

Adolescence is a period of insecurity, risk taking, and disobedience. The adolescent is unsure of himself and wants to experiment. He will want to make big decisions without the assistance of his parents. He will want to test limits and push boundaries. Disrespectfulness is not to be tolerated. He needs to face the consequences of his actions. Let him help to set the rules and the consequences. Sometimes the consequences fall into place naturally.

Schools are equipped with guidance counsellors, special educators, school nurses, chaplains, police, teachers, principals, deans of discipline, psychologists, and social workers. Speak with the principal and outline to her the problems that you are facing. She will refer you to one of the team members. Some schools have peer counsellors and others have mentoring programmes. Schools are becoming self-sufficient as they partner with their communities.

Do you go to church? Your pastor or church members could also talk with your son. The mentoring of students is a good idea but it has to be supervised closely.

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  Are the meds working?

Dear Counsellor,

My daughter has schizophrenia and takes her medication. However, she is hearing voices and is responding to them. Sometimes she gets aggressive and has to be restrained. I believed that she would be well because she is taking the medication. What's happening?

Dear Rose,

Schizophrenia is a complex disorder and sometimes we are in uncharted seas. Medication has to be taken in adequate doses for a period of time. There are several reasons why your daughter is sick. The doses of medication may need to be increased or a new drug started. The effects of medication vary with individuals and sometimes the drug has to be changed.

Patients with schizophrenia are very sensitive to stressful situations and this can cause her to still have symptoms. What is happening at home? Tension at home or work can trigger a relapse. With frequent redundancies, people are worried about finding a job, and this stress can precipitate a recurrence of the illness. Life is stressful and stress cannot be avoided. It, therefore, means that we have to find a good match with the medication.

Speak with your psychiatrist about the situation and research the word schizophrenia on the Internet. She may need to be in a facility for about six months.

Email questions and feedback for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.