Master your anger, don't let it master you

Glenford Smith, Career writer

Aristotle, the revered Greek philosopher of the 4th century BC, noted in his famous work Nicomachean Ethics that, "Anyone can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not easy."

The brouhaha in Parliament on July 3 was a distasteful demonstration of how accurate Aristotle was.

It also showed that as far as managing anger is concerned, human nature hasn't really changed much through the centuries.

It remains an uncomfortable fact of human nature that "reason is the slave of the passions", as another philosopher, David Hume, expressed in the 18th century.

Your ability to manage your anger specifically and your emotions generally, is pivotal to your career and personal success.

Failure to master your rage at work and in life may eventually cause you embarrassment, loss of respect, as well as destroy important relationships.

Lack of emotional control could also cost you your job, or the loss of significant income.

If your boss, co-worker or a customer 'gets you angry', you might impulsively 'tell them off'. After all, you're no hypocrite; you're forthright and believe in telling people your mind, whether they like it or not, you might reason.

There is a small problem with this attitude, however.

After you've insulted, demeaned and castigated your boss, co-worker, or the customer and are feeling good that they now know where you stand, they will still be experiencing the emotional hurt of your intemperate utterances. And their resentment may in turn drive them to sabotage and victimise you, or to go to great lengths to hurt you or your career.

Not only that. Once you become known as a 'hot head' who can't control his or her temper, some people will strategically do and say things to elicit an angry response - or 'draw you out' in other words.

You effectively become a puppet, with your emotions being the string they use to control you. Others will simply avoid you as much as possible.

In extreme situations of workplace anger, people have pushed, punched, stabbed or shot a colleague in fury.

The victim may have said or done something to offend the perpetrator, who lacked self-restraint. In the end, someone ends up losing a job, his or her reputation, physical freedom or even a life.

The solution to this problem is what Dr Daniel Goleman calls emotional intelligence. In his groundbreaking book by that name, he showed that this quality was more important than IQ in determining success in school, career and life.

"People who are at the mercy of impulse - who lack self-control - suffer a moral deficiency. The ability to control impulse is at the base of will and character ... . Self-restraint and compassion are the two moral stances that our times call for," Goleman wrote.

At some time in your career, someone is sure to get you peeved, upset, or even enraged.

For the sake of your reputation, important relationships, and success, master your anger; don't be its slave. Remember the ancient saying: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make angry.

Glenford Smith is a motivational speaker and success strategist. He is the author of a new book "From Problems to Power: How t