Let's Talk Life - How can I help my mom overcome a drinking problem?

Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson, Contributor

Dear Counsellor,

My mother consumes large volumes of alcohol daily. She is not functioning well at work or at home. She is frequently drunk and becomes boisterous. She can be the nicest person whenever she is not drinking. What can I do to help her?

- Jacqueline

Dear Jacqueline,

It must be frustrating to have to deal with your mother in her drunken state. Your mother must accept that she is having a problem with alcohol. She is not the only person who has a drinking problem. Substance use and abuse issues are a multimillion-dollar business. There are counsellors who specialise in alcoholism and treatment centres to help with the addictions. Is your mother smoking cigarettes or ganja? Many individuals engage in multiple substance use.

One of the major goals is for your mother to agree to get treatment. Treatment is for the long term, and she will need the support of family and friends. Alcoholism runs in families and sometimes skips a generation. Research is ongoing into seeking a biological basis for alcoholism. Many individuals who have a problem with alcoholism are depressed, and so the health issues are compounded.

The depression needs to be treated as well as the addiction. You can take your mother when she is drunk to a detoxification facility for treatment. In a few days, she will be sober and, hopefully, will consider the need for rehabilitation.

She will be assessed for physical health issues as alcohol has a deleterious effect on the human body.

Encourage her to go to alcoholics anonymous meetings as this will help her to confront her problems. She will have a mentor who will help her to deal with her issues. She needs to take responsibility for her drinking problems.

Many people have lost their jobs, families, house, cars, and money because of alcoholism. Try not to enable her drinking and don't feel guilty about her problems. You need to make sure that you are not consumed by your mother's pathology. Seek help for yourself. You need therapy to help you to cope with your mother's alcoholism. You will need skills for helping your mother without enabling her.

Email questions and feedback for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.