Dear Doc: Sex game dilemma

Doctor, I have got myself into a real crazy situation. I seem to have fallen in love with a professor from a South American country who was visiting Jamaica with his wife. Also, I am worried that he may have given me some kind of Latin American veneral disease.

It all started when my husband and I met them at a cocktail party. We all seemed to get on very well together, so we invited them to have dinner at our house a few days later. That occasion started real well, but by mid-evening, everybody had had rather too much to drink.

Regrettably, what happened next was that the four of us played a strip game. Somewhere around midnight, I found that I was having sex with the professor. Meantime, on the other side of the room, his wife was having intercourse with my husband. I am deeply ashamed of all this, Doctor. But that was what occurred.

Well, the next day, my mind was in a turmoil. We had to meet the professor and his wife at a function, and when he came over and talked to me, I suddenly felt that this was the most wonderful guy I had ever met.

We met again at a lunch later in the week. He and I spent the entire time gazing into each other's eyes. His wife was not too pleased about that, and neither was my husband, who was getting kind of angry.

The next day, the professor and his wife went home to their own country, and I have not heard from him since.

Well, Doctor, here I am - in love with a guy from a foreign land and wondering whether I should try and contact him, or even travel to his country. In addition, I am worried about whether he could have given me any kind of foreign infection.

You see, a few days after we had sex, I noticed a thick, white discharge. There is also a real bad itch. I mentioned it to my husband, and since then, he has refused to have sex with me.

Do you think this is some form of sexual infection, maybe originating in South America? Your medical advice would be much appreciated.

I have altered one or two details of your story, so that you will not be recognised by your friends and colleagues. Let me deal first with this question of a possible sexually transmitted infection (STI).

Yes, there are some STIs which are common in this guy's country, but which almost never occur in Jamaica. But I do not think for a moment that you have got one of them. On the basis of the symptoms you describe, I would guess that you probably have an outbreak of thrush, also known as candida. Many people in Jamaica call it 'yeast'.

What you should do now is to go to a doctor to be examined and to have some tests done. If this problem is indeed thrush, then the doc will be able to give you some treatment right away. It might also be a good idea for your husband to use some anti-thrush cream on his genitals.

As it relates to your emotional problem, you feel that you are in love with this foreign guy. I would prefer to describe it as 'infatuation'. However, it does not really matter what we call it. The important thing to realise is that it will eventually come to an end!

At least, it will come to an end providing you do nothing to reactivate it. At all costs, do not contact this professor. Don't send him emails or texts. Do not even think of going to his country to see him. And if he tries to contact you - which I feel is unlikely - please do not reply.

Your story illustrates what I have said before in this column: that it is folly for married people to get involved in sex games. Swapping partners, in the way that the four of you did that evening, is all too likely to lead to potentially disastrous emotional entanglements.

I wish you well, and I hope that you and your husband will be able to put this crazy episode behind you, and work together on strengthening your marriage.

I am a guy of 31, and recently I have been a little depressed. So my doc put me on anti-depressant pills.

But in the last few weeks, I have it real difficult to climax when I am having sex with my wife. Could this be anything to do with the pills?

Definitely. Several types of antidepressant have the effect of making it difficult for a guy to reach orgasm. Please ask your doc to switch you to a next pill.

I am a woman who has been feeling tired all the time. My own doctor has diagnosed iron-deficiency anaemia, and has put me on iron tablets.

But I do not understand why I am anaemic. Is it always due to heavy periods?

No. Iron-deficiency anaemia is indeed often due to heavy menses. But it can also be due to bleeding in various parts of the body, notably inside the belly. And it can be caused from a poor diet, especially one lacking in meat.

Finally, loss of iron can be caused by taking certain tablets, notably ones for pain and rheumatism. So you should check with your doc, and ask her what she thinks the cause of the deficiency is.

I am a guy of 33, and I am real concerned about the fact that in the last week I have been passing blood in my urine, Doc.

Is this a sign of cancer, as I have heard?

Well, blood in the urine can be caused by certain types of cancer, notably cancer of the bladder. But at your relatively young age, that is fairly unlikely.

It is more probable that you just have a urinary infection. But you must have a medical examination and tests as soon as possible.

So please, go and see a doc at once. Take with you a specimen of your urine, collected in a completely clean (and preferably sterile) glass container.

Doctor, on a recent visit to the United States, I misguidedly got myself a Brazilian, which removed almost all of my pubic hair.

Afterwards, I was not too pleased by the appearance. And now I find that in most of the places where there was a hair, I see a little yellowish swelling. Each of these bumps seems to be filled with pus. Help!

Do not fret. This is not serious, though it may take several months to clear up completely. What you have is a minor infection of the hair follicles, sometimes called folliculitis. This does quite often happen after removal of the pubic hair.

What you should do now is to buy some gentle antiseptic lotion from your local chemist. Apply it twice daily after showering. If you are not improving in a month, consult a doc.