Let's talk Life

Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson , Contributor

Help, my son is failing!

Dear Counsellor, My son is doing poorly at school and I don't know how to help him. What can I do? - Shawn

Dear Shawn,

Many children especially boys are having problems with behaviour and learning. We need to look at what is happening to the pre-school child. There is an identified curriculum for the pre-schoolers as well as the kindergarten children. I don't know the age of your child, but treatment usually involves what is taught at the early ages before grade one. Some children are demotivated or bored with schoolwork. As with the early years, the information has to be presented in such a way that self-learning is encouraged and learning is fun.

Your son needs to be assessed to identify if there are intellectual difficulties, disruptive behaviours or learning disabilities. Many times, the problems are difficulties with reading and mathematics. Usually there is no problem with numbers, but problems with the foundation of mathematics. Some children also have coexistent Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

Get your son to be excited about teaching what he learns in the days. He will be reinforcing what he learns at school. You will need to practise phonics skills with him. After he is assessed, you could get a tutor to teach him. Read to him at nights. Have a timetable for reviewing his work as well as doing homework. Less television and computer. Discuss with the class teacher and principal about his performance. Ask the teacher about his strengths and weaknesses and work to improve his skills. Teach him how to teach himself and monitor his work.

Dear Counsellor, I am interested in learning skills to deal with my children. - Madge

Dear Madge,

Parenting is a privilege that individuals get to make a difference in someone's life. The goal of parenting is to produce an individual who loves himself and loves others. The parent should ensure that the child has good interpersonal skills and is able to resolve issues amicably. The child should be able to self-soothe without resorting to drugs, risky sex or criminality.

In the prenatal period, parents eat well, exercise and have a special relationship with their God. Through pregnancy and beyond, the parents will try to connect to their children. Nurturing and safety are lifelong issues that children need to have. Spend time telling stories of your childhood. Play board games and teach togetherness to your children. Go to fairs and other fun activities, so that the children are exposed to other people and events. You need to involve your children in your religion. They need to learn how to pray and how to seek peace of mind from God. Your children need to learn about forgiveness and dispute resolution. They will need to learn to get along together in the family and with others. Involve your children in co-curricular activities and build up their self-esteem. Discipline with love and shower your children with lots of tender loving care.

Email questions and feedback for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.