Towards a gentler, more civil society

Parliamentarians being abusive in their behaviour; principals fighting teachers; coaches being restrained on the field; passengers becoming violent on buses when fares are demanded; weapons being drawn because of arguments; students knifing each other because of disagreements. We have lost civility, good manners and courtesy as the hallmark of our culture.

There was a gentler time, a more peaceful time, when it was common for persons to be passing each other on the streets and greet one another with "good morning" or "have a good day". When you accidentally did something, the accompanying words would be, "I am sorry." The response most times would have been, "It is okay."

Now we pass each other with hostile stares and glares. Anger and resentment permeate the air. If perchance you bump into someone, the response is anger, a threat of violence or violence itself. In former days, obscenities were used to express upset and outrage. Now upset and outrage is expressed all the time, and so obscenity is the language of choice.

violent culture multiplies

We see this evidenced in the classroom, with children using obscenities in the same way as they would use Jamaican Creole. Children have learnt this in their homes and communities. Not only do we see the free use of obscenity, but we also see children using violence as the means to deal with any perceived problem, such as a student sitting on their chair. The first action is not to ask for the chair but to immediately push the other child and the chair to the ground. This is usually accompanied, in many instances, with cussing and swearing. Imagine an atmosphere like this replicated many times over in our classrooms. Imagine that a teacher comes into a class with more than 40 seven- or eight-year-old students behaving in this manner.

In too many of our classrooms, too little effective teaching can take place because the teacher has to spend most of the time controlling students' behaviour. These students have been socialised in their homes and communities in such a way that they find it difficult to sit and concentrate for more than a few minutes at a time. They have been socialised to shout out if they want someone's attention, to curse if annoyed, and to hit, if irritated. This behaviour from a significant number of students in an overcrowded classroom of eight-year-olds makes teaching and learning very difficult.

Schools alone cannot resocialise our children. Teaching of good manners and civil behaviour must begin in our homes. But here is the challenge: Civility has broken down so much in our society that many of our parents do not have a concept of what good manners are. There are so few examples held up to them in our nation that they have lost the concept of civility.

frontrunners must do better

How then do we restore civility to our society? How do we become a gentler space? It must begin at the top, in how the business of politics and Parliament is conducted. It must be spread through how media practitioners conduct themselves. It must be reflected in the lyrics that the music industry disseminates. It must be reinforced in how the police deal with our people. It must be practised in the business places, in our shops, and markets.

Good customer service, which entails civility, is so rare in our country that we comment on it extensively whenever we experience it. We do have a few advertisements now and then that promote positive behaviour. I encourage the corporate bodies to get involved in sponsoring a campaign to promote civility. The minister of youth and culture should see this as a priority so that we can retrain our people's minds. I encourage the music fraternity to seek to create songs that speak to this type of behaviour.

We have artists who do murals on walls around the country, especially in our cities; let us move to have them paint scenes that depict courtesy and good manners. I believe we can do this if we have the will and determination to do so.

In the 1970s, Jamaica pushed the message of self-reliance and black consciousness; in the 2000s, slackness permeated our air waves and consciousness. Let us use the same tools that were used to create the mindset in those days to now promote a positive, gentler ethos, a more courteous environment.

brighter future for all

Let us try to promote decency in our relationships with each other. Let us seek to cultivate good manners and respect for each other. Let us treat our elderly with honour, instead of disdain. Let us promote consideration for the disabled and disadvantaged, instead of ridicule.

If this happens, it will be easier for learning to take place in the classrooms. Our children will begin to produce better educational outcomes, which in turn will help us to produce more skilled and well-socialised workers. Investors will be more drawn to this country with a people who are prepared with good work ethics and good interpersonal relationship skills.

Some might think that this is a simplistic view of the situation, but the best solutions are usually simple, staring us in the face. They are interconnected. The foundation, the family, has to be fixed. The schools have to become hallmarks of learning. Our society has to become a place of positive social interaction.

All of this begins with training in consideration, thoughtfulness, courtesy and good manners at home. Let's retrain our society to be a gentler, more civil space.

As we enter the season when we celebrate the coming of Jesus Christ into the world, I pray that our country will experience a respite from crime and violence and that we can celebrate with our loved ones and family the birth of Our Saviour, Jesus Christ, in peace and with joy. Happy Christmas!

Esther Tyson is an educator. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and esther.tyson@gmail.com.