Christmas mistakes

4 of the biggest ones parents make during the holidays

Kareem LaTouche, Youthlink Coordinator

There are some cardinal mistakes that parents should avoid making, especially with teenagers, during this festive season, even as the family basks in the joy of Christmas.

We asked Vivienne Grant, who has been teaching history at Jamaica College for 33 years, to give us an insight into some of those issues.

The Report and the Reward

Parents should not give presents before seeing their teen's Christmas report, and if the school does not give a report card for the term, the parent can have a chat with the form teacher to get an overview of the teen's academic performance. He doesn't have to be a straight-A student, but his report must reflect that he is making an effort to improve.

"I don't believe in rewarding poor work. If the student gets poor grades due to lack of effort, it will give him the impression that it's OK to receive without giving. God operates on a balance. If a child wants an Ipod, he must work for it," declared Grant.

Taking a break from it all

Much like the summer holidays, very little studying usually takes place during this festive season. This lack of practice can result in the student going back to school in an academic state less favourable than when he left.

"There is a culture that holiday is for fun and studying is not fun. This is also exacerbated by the fact that there are more parents working, hence less monitoring is taking place. In addition, many young persons are under their own jurisdiction and they receive financial support through remittance services from parents abroad," stated Grant.

She also advised parents to monitor their teen's usage of technological instruments. "The usage of cell phones, the Internet and cable TV, usually intensifies during the holiday period," revealed Grant.

While parents may not want to be drill sergeants, they must ensure that some time is taken in each day to study. "We need to help children to have a positive attitude and the discipline to study, we are in a microwave world where things are prepared instantly, but studying is not like this. While you can take breaks, there are no holidays from it."

Social freedom

A teen may get more freedom to hang out with friends, talk on the phone or surf the Internet during this period, and nothing is wrong with that. However, all these privileges will come with a heightened sense of responsibility that parents must explain to their teens, especially due to the escalation of robberies and prowling paedophiles.

"Parents should be aware of the societal ills and practise vigilance with their kids. Nothing is wrong if a parent passes through some of these parties to ensure their child didn't change her attire to something provocative. There are sexual predators waiting out there like the big bad wolf to prey on our daughters and sons," said Grant.

Excessive spending

Christmas comes with excessive spending, which can throw a parent's budgeting off, for the rest of the academic year. Hence parents should always explain to their teen the financial responsibilities that come with parenting.

"Many parents paid for CSEC (Caribbean Secondary Education Certificate) and CAPE (Caribbean Advanced Proficiency Education) subjects in November, along with back-to-school expenses in September. Some parents went to lending agencies, and it's not like people like to borrow but education is vital and costly. Parents should keep it real with their children and let them know these realities," she explained.

She also emphasised the need for prudent spending, by encouraging parents to look on the bigger picture. "Let us begin to focus less on the excessive material things and start to invest for the transitional phases of education. For example, after fifth form there is sixth form, and after that there is university," said Grant.

Email questions or comments to klatouche@hotmail.com