Doctor's Advice - Simultaneous orgasms

Q. I am desperate to achieve simultaneous orgasms with my beautiful fiancée, but we just cannot seem to achieve that. We went to a doctor to ask for some medication, but she said there was none. In fact, she told us that our best course of action was for me to make sure that I use my fingertips to stimulate my partner's clitoris while I am having sex with her. But Doc, this is not easy to do. How on earth is a man suppose to get his hand down between the two bodies, while they are having intercourse?

Well, this is a good point that you raise. It is not all that easy for a man to stimulate his partner's clitoris while they are in the missionary position.

What you and your fiancée would find very useful is the fact that there are certain intercourse positions which are described as 'clitoris friendly'. In other words, they give the man room to get his fingers on the woman's clitoris.

There are books which list these clitoris-friendly positions. But in particular, I would draw your attention to the following possibilities:

• Any rear-entry position makes it easy for the man to reach round with his hand and stimulate the clitoris-thus facilitating a simultaneous orgasm.
• Any position in which the woman sits on top will also provide easy access to her clitoris.

However, please bear in mind that simultaneous climax is not absolutely vital to a good relationship. In fact, many couples scarcely ever achieve it during their entire lifetimes.

Q. Hello, Doc. Both my mother and my aunt died of ovarian cancer. I suppose this means that I am at some risk, does it? But I have regular Pap smears. Can I assume that these tests would reveal any early signs of ovarian cancer?

Well, a lot of women have the idea that Pap smears can detect all kinds of gynaecological cancers. Unfortunately, this is not true. A recent survey showed that 47 per cent of women believe this.

In fact, Pap smears are only useful against cancer of the cervix. They can't tell the doctor anything about the condition of the ovary or the womb.

In your case, you have a family history of ovarian cancer. So my view is that from the age of 30, you should have occasional ultrasound scans of the ovaries - and, perhaps, a blood test too. Please talk this matter over with your doctor.

Q. Due to the nature of my work, sex with my wife is often interrupted by phone calls. By the time I get back to bed, hours have gone by and the effects of my Viagra have worn off. So really, Doc, Viagra does not really last long enough for me. Is it true that there is some other drug whose effects last much longer?

Yes, that is true. The medication is called Cialis. It works in a similar way to Viagra, but lasts a lot longer. Ask your doctor about it, and I expect he will be happy to prescribe it for you. Please bear in mind that it has a few side effects which Viagra does not, such as backache.

Q. I am engaged to a very handsome man. Some people think he is a little effeminate, but I do not agree. But one odd thing has happened. The other day, I heard him talking to a friend on the phone. They were discussing me, and I heard him refer to me as his beard.  What does this mean?

I find that phone conversation rather disturbing as 'beard' can be a slang used by homosexuals. It means a woman who a gay man marries in order to provide him with a cover for his activities. In other words, the marriage gives him a certain respectability, and helps to hide his sexual orientation. The expression seems to derive from 'false beard', meaning 'a disguise'.

Now it is possible that you misheard, or perhaps that he was just joking with his friend. However, I think you must insist on having it out with him now. Make him sit down and explain himself to you. Unless he can provide a satisfactory explanation for calling you his beard, I think it would not be wise to proceed with your marriage plans.

Q. I was terrified to read that there is such a thing as cancer of the penis. How can I avoid getting it? And how would I know if I had it?

Relax. Cancer of the penis is very uncommon, and there are no more than a dozen or so cases each year in Jamaica. It is linked with human papillomavirus (HPV), which is transmitted through having sex. So a good way to avoid it is to refrain from sleeping around.

Also, this cancer mainly occurs in uncircumcised men who do not wash under their foreskins. So have a very thorough shower each day and you should be fine.

Lastly, you ask about the symptoms of carcinoma of the penis. The chief one is a raw ulcer (or sore), which develops under the foreskin over a period of months.

Q. I am getting married in a few months, and I have just realised that my period, which is very regular, will arrive on the day of the wedding! Is there anything I can do to alter that?

Yes. If you go to a doctor now and explain what the dates are, she can prescribe you with some hormone tablets which will postpone your period to a later date that you desire.

Q. Earlier this year, I had an affair with a woman from Cuba. Now I have developed genital warts, Doc! Can I assume that I caught these warts from her?

No. Genital warts are caused from HPV, which is passed on during sex. But the incubation period, which is the period of time before you develop the warts, is long and very variable.

In practice, it is usually almost impossible to find out who you caught these from. I am doubtful that you could have caught them from the Cuban señorita because it is only about a few months since you had sex with her.

Anyway, the important thing now is to make sure that you get a good and thorough treatment so that the warts are completely eradicated. Please do not have sex with anyone until you are definitely cured.

Q. Is it true that the Pill reduces your chances of getting womb cancer, as I have heard from a nurse?

Yes, the nurse is quite correct.