The more things change ...

Anthony Gambrill, Contributor

Recently, Claudia Robinson was in Jamaica for the 100th birthday of her indestructible aunt, and a few veterans of the satirical revue series 8 O'clock Jamaica Time (1965-1999) sat around swapping memories. Claudia, now resident in New York, was the star comic actress in several shows. Of course, what came up was, "When are we going to have another 8 O'clock?"

As writer/producer, I had once again to explain that our audiences from the past were now staying home at night watching cable television. Furthermore, situations that had been satirised several times over 13 editions of the show were still being repeated. As the saying goes, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

It struck me that maybe that point needed to be proven in the current era of national debt exchanges, spiralling taxes, and politicians' regurgitated panaceas.

For instance, a JLP-era piece began:

It gives me great pleasure this afternoon

To talk to you, gentlemen and ladies of the press.

Expenditure has shown an unprecedented boom,

And income for the year is considerably less.

I'd like to say it once that our way is very clear,

The majority of you can now relax.

The lower-income bracket may see a slight increase

But the middle class, as usual, will pay much more in tax.

The principle's an old one but the application new

As my colleagues here will help me to explain.

Since most of our new taxes affect relatively few

My majority is still quite safe, even if they do complain.

We've taken up the challenge

To make the Budget balance

And stabilise the national economy.

More tax - less pay

The Seaga Way

You like it - we tax it.

TAXES DILEMMA

On another occasion, titled Taxing Time, we suggested how one could overcome the more-taxes dilemma:

Austerity precedes prosperity

And prosperous we ain't

It's time to tighten our belts again

And tighten them till we faint

Put your noses to the grindstone

The walls are to your backs

And as your wages increase

The more they'll take in tax.

Work night and day and weekends

Work overtime, too, and

If you can work in your sleep

They'll tax it when you do.

The fact is

The taxes

Are all you're working for

A house, a car, a trip abroad

Aren't possible anymore.

Have two jobs instead of one

Maybe you could take three

And should you take a holiday

They'll tax it while you spree.

Work on public holidays

Skip coffee breaks and tea

Sick leave isn't possible

They'll tax your time that's free.

The fact is

The taxman

Is nothing but bad news

He has to pay the IMF so

He's IMF-ing you.

Our advice to anyone who was looking for an answer to the crisis went like this:

Form a committee

Hire a consultant

Sign up for a seminar

But don't do no work.

Get on a task force

Hold a prayer meeting

Call on the Gee Gee

But don't do no work

Join a trade mission

Do some fact-finding

Visit Korea

But don't work

Fill up a long form

Stand in a long line

Lean on a long desk

BUT DON'T DO NOT WORK

Reach for the telephone

Make countless appointments

Write dozens of memos

BUT DON'T DO NO WORK

Get letters of credit

Commitment and indemnity

Without rancour or enmity

BUT DON'T DO NO WORK

If you never make a decision, nobody can ever say you are wrong, the perfect mantra for a political leader as we pointed out.

Give me a platform

Give me a podium

Give me a village square

Or an auditorium

I will talk and argue,

I'll discuss and debate,

Analyse and assess,

Definitively state

And whenever it is possible

I will seize the opportunity to pontificate.

Give me a pulpit

A public meeting

The Pegasus ballroom

wall-to-wall seating.

I'm a problem solver

I'll tell you what to do

Advise and assist

But one thing is true

Please don't ask me to get involved

Because, as usual, I'm leaving it up to you.

Give me a classroom

A congregation

Put me on radio

To speak to the nation.

Give me a courtroom

School graduation

A JMA banquet

To give an oration.

I prize my opinion

I know it all

And I'll tell you so.

But, please, never call

On me to have to do what I say

If I have to make a decision, I'll certainly stall.

STORIES IN GRAFFITI

For the impending election of 1980, we looked to street graffiti for our themes and the inevitability of the saying that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Michael is a fruitcake

Seaga a CIA

Trevor is a Commie

What a choice on election day!

I've got a vote, I've got a vote

I'll make my own selection

I've got a voice to make a choice

In the next general election

But who will it be to represent me

Who'll be my ultimate leader

Who is the man with the 5-year plan

Who'll be the best succeeder?

Michael is a fruitcake

Seaga a CIA

Trevor is a Commie

What a choice on election day!

Can you say who is best for you,

And for me and every Jamaican?

Give me a guess who is the best

I'm going to the polling station

It's time for a change, a true exchange

Of new for old ideas

Someone who'll be for both you and me

Someone who'll not reduce us to tears

Michael is a fruitcake

Seaga a CIA

Trevor is a Commie

What more is there to say!

Well, it turned out that Michael Manley wasn't a fruitcake, Eddie Seaga wasn't a CIA, and Trevor Munroe may have been far to the left for a while, but was never a Commie.

Apart from that, all of the above - relentlessly repeated - has been the story of a nation on a mission for 50 years. The more things have changed, the more they've stayed the same.

Anthony Gambrill is an author and playwright. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com.