Let's Talk Life

Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson,

Depressed by mom's breast cancer news

Dear Counsellor,

I am a teenager and I have just discovered that my mother has breast cancer. I am angry, bewildered, and stressed. I feel that my mother should have told me earlier even though that would not have made a big difference to how I am feeling now.

I cry a lot and get depressed. I am worried that all the plans that I have for my mother will not be fulfilled. I am worried that she might die early and will not be there to help raise my children. I am close to my mother. She is my dearest friend. Is cancer curable? I am grieving.

- Carol

Dear Carol,

Many children are facing similar tragedies, but hope is not lost. If cancer is detected early, then a cure is possible. Depending on the stage of the cancer, breast cancer is treated with surgery, medication, and radiation.

Usually, this is challenging for the children. Your mother will have to spend a lot of time going to see her physicians and doing various tests. She will need a lot of encouragement and support. You can help her by doing your chores without being reminded.

There will be times when you will become tearful or angry. Spirituality is helpful, and so you need to accept God's guidance and love. At this time, you may be questioning God about what is happening. Bad news causes anxiety and depression and acting-out behaviours. All family members will have to pull together to cope. Seeing a counsellor can be helpful as this change will need professional help. Mothers are dear to our hearts and the thought of losing them is painful.

When a family member is ill, then all members are sick. This is when friends and extended family are helpful. Be aware that your functioning at school can be affected because you may lose focus and become distracted. Tell your favourite teacher about the problems. You need support and your mother needs support also. Don't lose hope. Pray that things will improve.

Coping with autism

Dear Counsellor,

My son has been diagnosed with autism. I am very disappointed that my child is not like other typical children. I cry a lot and feel helpless.

- Marcia

Dear Marcia,

Hope is not lost. Autism has become a common disorder and there are resources to improve functioning. In Jamaica, there are special schools for children who have this condition. There are many specialists available to help with various components of the illness.

There are behaviour therapists, speech therapists, paediatricians, and psychiatrists to treat these children. There are two support groups where families can get information and support. We need to share our challenges so that we can get the necessary help.

Many parents have to come to terms with the reality that their children have special needs. Autism is being well researched and there are many treatments available for parents to try. Each child has his or her own issues, and treatment has to be tailored to each child.

Email questions and feedback for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.