It takes a village ...

Chester Francis-Jackson, Outlook Contributor

Dears, can we talk? As we commemorate Mother's Day - celebrating those we hold dear for their mentorship, guidance and selflessness in seeing to our welfare, we cannot help but remember the age-old saying: 'The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world'. If this is so, some might ask, how come the world is in such a parlous state? But more specifically, how come Jamaica is emerging as a country in social decline and lacking in fixity of purpose and its traditional moral compass?

It can be argued that this state of affairs is attributable to the fact that we have moved away from the era where it took a village to raise a child to one where the parents and the village have abdicated that role and responsibility. The end result - children are now rearing themselves. Their role models are social and intellectual delinquents foisted upon them daily through the new media in all its pervasive forms - internet, music and film.

To be sure, the era to which I harken, was no panacea. There was a deficit of parenting skills back then as well. But it can be safely argued that, where the parenting skills at home failed, the community stepped in and righted that wrong.

And where the community might have missed the boat, the school was there to correct the budding problem.

INSTANT GRATIFICATION

With the advent of the e-generation and its emphasis on a culture of instant gratification, today's children now operate as the parents. Often they are more educated, if only by way of 'street-smarts', than their parents. Some are the breadwinners for their families from a very tender age, and, therefore, are more exposed to a variety of social ills and conditioning than in the bygone era where it would have taken a longer time and a process of acculturation.

Sadly, this new reality has led to a new status quo where hard work is trivialised and oft frowned upon. Children now have a sense of entitlement instead of a sense and culture of working for the rewards and bounties of life.

Now, we often speak in isolationist terms when we seek to address the problems plaguing the nation. We speak of the lack of respect shown to and for authority. We speak about the crime and violence besetting the national cultural fibre. And we do so daily, as if these ills have suddenly upped out of nowhere and overtaken us.

The sad truth is, we are reaping what we have sown through the years. We cannot expect to be vile, wife-beaters, abusers of our children, constantly displaying a lack of respect for the same authority we blame the children for not having. Or practising petty thieves and major peddlers of corruption and then expect our children to grow into paragons of virtue.

Let us not forget, 'Children Live What They Learn'. What we are experiencing today are children acting out the lessons their seniors have taught them, aided and abetted by the influence of the new media, and peer pressure. The fruits of homes sometimes governed by the material, but often bereft of the physical guidance and presence that is needed to engender such skills as conflict resolution, relationship building; the art of socialising, and more important, learning to take responsibility for one's actions, and with failure to, then the consequences thereof.

To be sure, as a child, I saw woeful shortages of parenting and home-management skills. There were those who practised that children should be seen and not be heard; and there were those in the education system who did not maximise children's potential, and those in the community that were predators of one kind or another.

The true champions of the community were those who tried their best to insulate the young from those who would take advantage of them.

COMMUNITY INTERVENTION

I recall, fondly, the intervention staged by the principal of Linstead All-Age Mr Smart as well as teachers Mrs Thorburne and Ledgister. Mr McNabb, from Dinthill, named 'Gully-Bull' by students, for once having chastised a student for acting too "gullible". The student, not familiar with the word or its meaning, dubbed him 'Gullybull'. J.W. Ansine, from McGrath; teachers Mr Gibbs, Miss Thomas and Channer, and Ruby Brown, who was the community spelling mistress; 'Mass Charlie', the goodly shopkeeper in Linstead, who passed recently; Mr Burnett, another shopkeeper; Mr McLeod, from the Bata Shoe Store on Kings Street in Linstead; the matronly Chinese wholesaler known as Madam; the stationmaster; the postmistress; Ivy Hinn, the community nurse; Dr Stephenson and his son Jack Stephenson; the Pottinger sisters; and the commu-nity in general, even the bar owners, barmaids and Crown and Anchor players. It took all of them to help raise the children of Linstead and Treadways where I spent my formative years. They all contributed to our well-being as children and would intervene to ensure that we never strayed too far from the straight and narrow, and kept our education at front and centre of our formative years.

These were community members who kept an eye out for potential delinquents in the community and assuredly reported any malingering or perceived delinquency to the respective parents. They would often reach into their own pockets to provide help to a needy child or children.

Today, as we celebrate Mother's Day and lament the state of our country, let us all remember - it does indeed take a village to properly raise a child. If we continue to abdicate that responsibility at the home, community and educational level, then we are continuing to sow the seeds of our disharmony and undoing!

A computer, while an appropriate technological companion, is not a substitute or surrogate parent. The latest gadgetry will not supplant the need for the interactive social skills that come with doing homework with our children. We cannot continue to let them learn about the 'birds and the bees' and everything else from the computer and/or the new village idiot, now armed with a little knowledge from the Internet. And please, as parents, as a community, we cannot abrogate the role to politicians. They, too, should play a part, but theirs is not the role of provider and/or arbiter.

And so, dear readers, today, I salute all mothers, surrogate and otherwise, teachers, nurses, but especially my own dear mother, Frances Allison, our longsuffering helper, Scothilda Throwers, who along with the community of Linstead/Treadways nurtured and guided me and my siblings along life's early path.

To all mothers, I say a heartfelt Happy Mother's Day - in the hope and certainty that you will continue to help in rocking the cradle wherever you are and can.