Butt, be gone!

For more than 20 years, a cigarette has been Ricardo's constant and loyal companion. In 2013, he decided to make a change and kick the habit with the help of psychologist Dr Rose Johnson. Dr Johnson is trained and certified in the 'Quit Smoking in 60 Minutes or Less' process and used neurolinguistic programming and hypnosis to help Ricardo achieve his goal. In February, the Outlook began following Ricardo on his journey. Now, after three months, he fills us in on whether he has really been able to quit smoking.

Hello, former friend and lover. How are you? You are answering as if you really believe I care. I was only being polite, so no need to respond.

Why should I care how you are doing? Do you care about the number of lives you have destroyed and the number of persons now struggling with lung cancer because of you and your slick marketing campaigns launched to push you on the unsuspecting?

I saw you yesterday with a new version - 'Click', which I'm told increases the menthol taste once you squeeze the tip and hear the 'click'. Damn, that sounds good and I certainly would have enjoyed that when we were together. But, there it is again. That's what you do. Sound cool, look cool and tempt people to give their souls to you. I'm lucky to have seen the light and left you, albeit 20 years later than I should have.

Speaking of when we are together, do you miss me? No need to shout. I heard the yes the first time.

Well. I don't miss you one 'Mayor Brown Burke'. What! You don't know what that means? Well, I wanted to emphasise that I don't miss you with a curse word, but this is a family newspaper and if I even use the letter the mayor used, my mother would wash my fingers with hot water, cake soap and bleach.

Seriously, it has been almost four months since I broke off our relationship, and I don't miss you one day. Sometimes when I'm driving, the hand that used to hold you feels empty, and sometimes when I'm around the domino table, I miss your presence in the left hand, but that is it.

I don't crave your presence after meals, at the start of the day or after sex like I used to. Now, I will take a break from my writing or editing and just have a drink of water, or something a little stronger (remember my mother is reading this).

So far, my sense of smell is slowly coming back. That is not always a good thing as some persons in the downtown bars could spend more time with soap and deodorant. My sense of taste is also coming back. Never knew the food from that lunch place tasted so awful.

My body also feels better, although the breathing thing remains a slight problem. It would probably be a good idea to stop putting off that exercise plan and replace some of the bar time with some gym time. However, I'm not sure that I'm ready for so many radical changes all at once.

Already, I've given up my early morning trips to 'Tinney' - I would admire her in the tight shorts she sleeps in while shouting "five Mattheron". She is not the only one that I have given up on. 'Grand Ma' on North Street, 'Mummy' on Reapers Road, 'Maxine' on John's Lane are all seeing less of me as I no longer go looking for you every day.

Sometimes I'm sorry for them - there is little profit in you, so their only way of making a profit was by volume. When we were together, they bought a pack of you for $520 and sold it back for $600, making only $80 on each 20-pack.

I don't know what the profit is like now because you have increased since my trip to 'the great' Dr Rosemarie Johnson, but I don't suspect that much has changed. I wish them well and I hope they start selling something healthy that I can support, but my money will never again go up in smoke.

And that's a good note to end my final letter to you. Goodbye forever, my former lover. The fire has been put out and the flames flicker no longer. You are history. My smoking days are well and truly over. Thanks again, Dr Johnson and the "Quit Smoking in 60 Minutes or Less" programme.

Names changed to protect privacy.