Dear doc: While his wife is away ...

Doc, I feel really embarrassed about telling you this, but currently my wife is away for around a month, visiting her sister in Canada. While she has been abroad, I unfortunately found myself in bed with a really attractive woman from a town 20 miles away. It was great fun, but now I regret it. One good thing was that she made me use a condom, so I am not too concerned about getting her pregnant. But my wife is due back next week, and there are two questions I would like to ask you:1. Is there any way my wife will be able to tell that I have had sex with someone else?2. Is there any chance I could have picked up a sex infection from this affair? I have been 'worried sick' about that.

A: This is a sad but all-too-common story. It shows that people should think carefully about leaving their partners on their own for several weeks. As someone once said: 'The devil makes work for idle hands'.

To answer your first question: no, there are no physical signs of adultery. So your wife will not be able to tell what you have done, unless you are overcome by guilt and decide to blurt it out.

As it relates to infections, there has to be a chance that you have picked up a sexually transmitted disease (STD) from this lady. Admittedly, the fact that she insisted you use a condom will have reduced the chances of infection.

Nevertheless, your best course would be to get a check-up from a doc before your wife gets home.

Needless to say, I feel you would be wise to avoid this sort of behaviour in future. It may have been 'fun', but look what worry it has caused you.

Doctor, this year my Pap smear showed 'ASCUS'. I am not sure what 'ASCUS' is. Could it be the cause of the pain I have in my tummy, which also occurs during sex?

A: That abbreviation 'ASCUS' is a puzzle to many women, and it appears on a lot of Pap smear reports. It is a pity that no one explained it to you when you got the result.

The letters just stand for ' Atypical Squamous Cells of Undetermined Significance'. That only means that there are some mild changes in the cells on the cervix, but for no known reason.

That is really just a very minor abnormality and probably means nothing at all. If you wish to know more, then Google the word 'ASCUS'.

These minute changes cannot be the cause of the pain in your belly or of the pain which you experience during intercourse. So you MUST get these pains diagnosed as soon as possible. It might be best to see a gyno.

Hello, Doctor. I pierced my navel about a year ago and had a ring inserted. Unfortunately, pus and blood are still coming out of the holes. I used to soak the area with sea salt and water, but it still gave me problems. I even put in a lighter metal ring, but still it didn't improve. Is there anything I can do to get it better? Or should I just take the ring out?

A: Well, as I am sure you know, this piercing wound is infected. A lot of men and women do not realise that body piercings are very liable to infection. Pus is a clear sign that germs have infected the wound.

The only sensible thing to do in these circumstances is to take the metal ring OUT, preferably for good.

Once you have removed it, the tissues will have a chance to fight the germs. To aid the process, you should get a good medical disinfectant from a pharmacy and apply it (according to the directions on the bottle) around four times for the day. A safe one to choose is called 'cetrimide', but the pharmacist will advise you.

Within 14 days, you should be completely better. If not, consult a doc. And I urge you: once you are cured, do NOT re-insert the metal ring!

My girlfriend, who is very experienced, wants to use that 'female condom'. She told me her friends say that it has 'sexual benefits'. But what are they? Would they help ME?

A: The only 'sexual benefit' of the female condom is that it has an outer ring which lies across the woman's clitoris. So this ring often causes some useful clitoral stimulation during intercourse.

However, if you were hoping that there would be some extra sexual stimulus for YOU, I am afraid you will be disappointed.

Doc, I am a 20-year-old married woman and I have a problem regarding conception. I have been trying to get pregnant for some time now. But, whenever my husband has ejaculated inside me, it just runs back out. What do you think is the problem with this outward flow?

A: I get this same question quite often in my postbag. A lot of couples think that after the guy has climaxed his fluid should all remain inside the woman. But in fact, that is not so at all! It is NORMAL for the liquid to flow out. You see, there is nowhere for it to remain inside the female body.

Admittedly, some microscopic sperms do swim their way upward into the womb. But the great bulk of the fluid just has to flow back out again.

A few doctors think that you can improve your chances of conception by keeping the liquid inside a little longer. You can do this by having intercourse with your bottom on a pillow, and with the knees raised. You stay in this position for about half an hour after intercourse. I would say that your best chance of getting pregnant is to ask a nurse or midwife to help you work out when your ovulation day is. Make sure that, each month, you have sex on that day. Good luck.

I am a guy of 34. When my penis is not erect, the foreskin can retract easily. But when I am erect, it cannot. It pains me when I have forced it to retract, especially if I sneeze. As a result, I cannot ejaculate when having sex. I don't want a circumcision, but I have an appointment to see a surgeon.

A: A couple of months ago, I answered a very similar e-mail which I think was from you. But maybe you did not see my reply. I think you should go and see the surgeon-specialist. He may be willing to do a more minor operation than a circumcision. Alternatively, he may suggest that you use hydrocortisone cream on the foreskin daily for a few months. This reduces inflammation in the tissues and makes it easier to retract the skin. Write to me again if you are still having trouble.