Dear doc: Is her husband cheating on her?

Doc, could you help a worried wife? I have a terrible fear that my husband is cheating on me. Let me explain. We have been married for 24 years, and, in fact, our 25th anniversary will be just before Christmas. To begin with, we had a real hurricane of a sex life, enjoying it maybe six times for the week, except when I had my menses. But things have changed over the years. He does not seem to want to make love all that often now. These days, it is maybe once or twice for the week, and that's it. This makes me suspicious that he has another women somewhere and is doing it with her. I must admit that I am not as sexy myself these days, But if I do not get an orgasm or maybe two, I tend to feel resentful and frustrated. So what do you think, Doc? Would you agree that it is likely that he is having sex elsewhere?

No, I certainly would not. The only evidence you have against him is the fact that the two of you don't have intercourse as often as you used to. And you admit that you yourself don't need sex as frequently as you once did.

Now I feel that you just have not realised that, in almost all couples, the frequency of sexual contact diminishes a little as the years go by. There are exceptions, but it is true for most husbands and wives.

Let me show you the scientific proof of that. There have been various good 'sex surveys' over the years, and according to the best of them, the average frequency of intercourse at various ages is this:

Age 30: twice a week;

Age 40: one and a half times per week;

Age 50: once per week.

I notice that you haven't told me what age you and your husband are. But judging by the fact that you are coming up to your 25th wedding anniversary soon, I would hazard a guess that you are probably both in your 40s. And as you will see from the above figures, in that age group, the average frequency of sexual intercourse is around one and a half times per week.

But you say that you and your spouse are doing it 'once or twice for the week'. So really, the two of you seem to be 'scoring' as well as average!

I do appreciate that it seems like you are not really getting enough orgasms, and I think you should talk frankly to your husband about that. If he is tired at night and doesn't always have the strength to make you discharge, then maybe an answer would be for you to purchase a small vibrator. The two of you could use it to give you more climaxes.

But I think you should forget the idea that he is getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere. That doesn't seem to me to be at all likely.

Dear Doc, I'm a 24-year-old male and I've been having a problem for a while now. My groin area has an odour which I am desperately trying to get rid of. What causes this, and how can it be monitored?

Sorry to hear about this. It must be quite embarrassing for you. To begin with, let's try and get one thing clear. What exactly do you mean by your groin?

You see, different folks use this word to mean different things. A lot employ it to mean the area which is a few inches to one side of the pubic hair, which is what docs call 'the inguinal region'. But it is very rare for either men or women to get a bad smell in that zone.

Other people use the word 'groin' to mean the whole of the genital organs. More specifically, many guys use it to mean the fairly 'hidden' region on either side of the testicles. That area of skin, which has the scrotum on one side and the thigh on the other side, is particularly likely to get smelly in males because sweat gets trapped there, especially on very hot days. Exercise also makes perspiration gather there. And unfortunately, sweat does tend to smell, especially when it has been 'lying around' for a few hours so that bacteria can breed in it.

I am going to assume that it is this area of skin that you are talking about. What you must do is to clean up that zone, get rid of all traces of sweat, and try to prevent it from accumulating again.

So if possible, you should shower around three times for the day, taking care to let the water give a thorough spray on the region just to the side of your scrotum. After that, you should dry the skin real thoroughly with a towel.

Not many people know that it is OK for a man to apply a deodorant/antiperspirant 'stick' to this patch of skin, and you should do that after you have finished drying. Note: women must NOT apply deodorants or antiperspirants in that area of the body.

Finally, you should apply a lot of TALC. The reason for this is that talcum powder is very good at 'mopping up' perspiration.

If these measures don't get rid of the odour within a fortnight, then you should consult a doc and let him examine you.

I am getting really bad pre-menstrual symptoms. Would the Pill help me?

Possibly. But I think you should talk over your 'pre-menstrual syndrome' (PMS) with a doc before deciding that the Pill is the best option. Also, check out this website: www.medicinenet.com/premenstrual_syndrome

Good day, Doc. I'm a male, age 46. I used to weigh 346lb. Then I got serious about my diet. I started to watch what I eat, cut out the alcohol drinking, and began to exercise. Now I'm down to 276lb. Is my weight-loss progress slow, Doc?

Well, you don't say how long you have been trying to get yourself healthy, but I note that you have lost no less than 70lb, which is a fine achievement. Keep it up!

One very important point in your email is that statement that you have 'cut out alcohol drinking'. That is a real wise move for anyone who wants to lose weight. Few people realise that alcohol is packed full of calories.

I think I have a vaginal infection. I am 21 years old and sexually active with one person. I have severe itching in my vagina, especially after my period. Should I buy an over-the-counter drug like Vagisil cream?

Well, Vagisil contains lidocaine, which is a local anaesthetic. So what it does is to numb itching.

That's okay, but it's not going to cure any infections. So your best course would be to see a doc, who can examine you internally and thus find out what infection is present and then prescribe a appropriate anti-germ medication, in order to get rid of the problem permanently.