Doctor's Advice - Diminishing 'staying time'

• Diminishing 'staying time'

Q. Doc, I am a guy and I think I am losing 'staying time'. What I mean is that during intercourse, I cannot last as long as I used to. Mind you, it is not that I want to have sex for very long periods, but in my teens, I used to be a good 15-minutes guy, and now I have dropped to 10 minutes, maybe less. What do you recommend to help me last longer, doctor?

A: I am a little surprised by your email because generally, guys tend to last longer as they get older. Many young men climax far too soon but then find that by the time they are 28 or 30, they have good control and can last for 20 or 30 minutes if they want to.

So what has occurred in your case is the reverse of the usual trend. I just wonder if anything dramatic has happened recently that has made you more stressed and has thus caused you to climax sooner.

Have you had any anxieties? Or have you had a change of partner perhaps? If so, does your new lady do something in bed which makes you orgasm sooner than you mean to? I do not think I can say that you have premature ejaculation (PE) since it sounds like you are generally lasting 10 minutes before you orgasm, which is not bad at all. Most PE sufferers cannot last two minutes.

Nevertheless, it may be worthwhile trying some anti-PE strategies to see if they would make you last longer. Possibilities include:

• Slide. This term is quite widely used in Jamaica to mean the practice of thinking about other things whenever you get near to an orgasm. Commonly, guys think about sports or about something that has happened in the news.
• Last-longer condoms. These reduce the sensitivity of the skin of the penis and so reduce the tendency to climax too soon.
• The Masters-Johnson grip. This is a way of squeezing the penis so as to delay orgasm. Details are widely available on the Internet.
• Medication. For the sake of completeness, I must mention that doctors sometimes prescribe a pill which delays orgasm, but I am doubtful if it would be justified in your case, particularly as the drug can cause side effects.

All in all, I feel that your best move would be to talk everything over with your current partner and see what she feels about your 'performance'. Is she happy with intercourse that goes on for 10 minutes rather than 20?

If she is, then there is not really much of a problem, but if she would like you to last 20 minutes or more, then the two of you should discuss ways in which she could help you to avoid discharging too soon. For instance, some couples have a system in which the guy calls out a 'warning word' when he feels his orgasm is getting too near. When she hears that signal, she immediately stops thrusting or wriggling and does nothing to excite him until he says that he is back in control.

• 'Shocking' sex

Q. My boyfriend wants me to try getting high before we have sex by giving myself an electric shock. Should I try this, Doc?

A: Certainly not! There has been a trend recently for teens to try this foolish practice. In fact, electric shocks do not make you high. And they may end up killing you.

• Urge to masturbate

Q. I am a 22-year-old guy who is quite worried about his irresistible tendency to masturbate. Doc, what can I do to lower this tendency? Would any medical treatment help?

A: Well, the first thing to tell you is that there is no medication that can make a young man masturbate less frequently. Indeed, I cannot think of any doctor's treatment that would have this effect.

I suppose it would be just possible to have a long course of psychotherapy in order to try and analyse the reasons why you masturbate. About 100 years ago, some psychiatrists used to try and treat young guys that way, but I have never heard of it being done today.

What interests me is why you are so concerned about the fact that you have been going in for masturbation. Are you aware that it has no medical ill effects whatever? And are you aware that research shows that around 90 per cent of young men do it?

What generally happens is that they gradually do it less and less when they start forming sexual relationships with women. I would forecast that this is what will occur with you. So all in all, I think that you should simply quit fretting.

• Tender breasts from Pill

Q. I'm 18. I started on the Pill three weeks ago, and now I notice that my breasts are tender, Doc! Does this indicate cancer? And should I stop taking the Pill?

A: No, it doesn't indicate cancer. And no, you shouldn't stop taking the Pill. When young women begin taking the oral contraceptive, they very frequently develop breast tenderness. This usually passes after a few packs, but if it doesn't, then just ask your doctor to switch you to a another brand.

• Bloody encounter

Q. Doc, I had sex with a girl last Saturday night. After our first encounter, there was a little blood on the condom. I just dismissed it, but later that night, after the second encounter, the condom was covered in blood. I am concerned for this girl. What could be the cause of the bleeding? She was not menstruating. In fact, she is not due until next month. Could it be a health problem, or did I damage her?

A: It is good that you are concerned about this young lady. I presume you are sure that the blood came from her and not from you.

I doubt if this bleeding was anything serious, but there are several possibilities:

• She may have been a virgin, and you may have broken her hymen.
• You may have accidentally cut her - probably with a fingernail. In young couples, this is the commonest cause of bleeding during sex.
• She may have a problem with her cervix like a polyp or perhaps cervicitis.

So I suggest that she consult a doctor who can do an internal examination, but I feel pretty sure that all will be well.

• Inserting the coil

Q. If I decide to have one of those coil things, Doc, could you guarantee that the insertion would be painless?

A: No, it certainly won't be pain-free, especially if you have never had a baby. But pain usually lasts only a few minutes. However, it is certainly worth taking some aspirin beforehand.

• Multiple encounters

Q. On Monday, a girl allowed me to have sex with her. I told her that I thought she was very wet, and then she admitted that she had been with another guy an hour previously. Doc, do you think I should take a test for sexually transmitted infection?

A: Yes. And so should the young lady.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.