The parade of virility: A flaccid performance of manhood

By Jaevion Nelson

There is an apparent phallic carnival and every Jamaican man wants to revel in this bacchanal. So much so that mongoose, crocodile and cats are now being consumed by Jamaican men to enhance their sexual prowess.

As Brian-Paul Welsh asked in his letter 'Is your manhood only in your pants?' published on Friday, October 18, 2013, "Is an erect penis the only valid and enduring symbol of Jamaican masculinity?"

There is no simple answer to my friend's question. However, an overwhelming number of females I know would, without hesitation, argue that based on the sexual harassment they experience daily, it is apparent that all men really have to offer are: unwanted cheesy pick-up lines, unsolicited sexual advances and grand lies about their sexual abilities.

What is most frightening is just how we have all accepted this awful practice as if it is something that can build a nation. To many of us men, it is within perfect reason to make advances to females - as soon as 'dem ripe' (undergoing puberty) so they can be apprised of all the things we wish to do to them. Clearly, the Child Care and Protection Act means nothing to us. What a tragedy!

Perhaps women are a part of a free sex market to which we are allowed, as men, to objectify and dagger (no pun intended) their gentalia just to prove how much of a man we are. That's why all these sexual aids are so important, right? To empower us so that we can perform sexually rather than enjoy sex given our natural abilities are seemingly woefully inadequate.

What is responsible for these contrived ideas of manhood and masculinity? Why do men feel they have a right to females' bodies? Why are men hunting for aphrodisiacs of all sorts, regardless of their potential health dangers, to empower their manhood? Are males emasculated if our 'pendulum' is left hanging without the female genitalia to affirm our sense of being male? What really could be the problem? Perhaps men are overcompensating in the sexual economy because of our underperformance in the real economy.

Male socialisation

It is how we socialise and police males to perform their masculinity. Our boys and men are instructed by our agents of socialisation, including the family, church and media, and much of this instruction focuses on grossly misleading ideas about what it means to be a man. To be a 'real man' males are taught, from very early, that they should be tough, sexually promiscuous, virile, macho, aggressive and never be emotional. As a consequence, warped ideas of masculinity are predominant and centred about sex and use of the genitalia.

The seminal work of Dr Donna Hope, Man Vibes (2010), claims that 'the use of sex and sexual symbols to create a highly sexual(ised) masculinity is foremost as a site of empowerment that asserts manhood and symbolises one form of masculinity, and forms an important core of dancehall culture's explicit discourse of male identity formation and maintenance.' Although I do not subscribe to any wholesale argument that places (a lot of) society's misgivings at the feet of dancehall (this is not Hope's argument), there is no way we can deny that it plays an integral role in the socialisation of our youth, especially where sex and sexuality are concerned. Just listen to the songs, the male sexual organ is often likened to weapons which are no doubt meant to kill and maim. It's a conquest - a duel between the man and his female prey, and at the same time, an egocentric competition with their peers.

This sexualised masculinity is problematic on a number of fronts. Both men and women are left with serious depravities in the wake of this limiting conception and understanding of male sexuality. The effect on the men themselves aside, women are acutely affected by the wielding of men's sexual prowess. Coupled with the fact that men are encouraged to be abrasive in approaching women, women are taught to be demure and passive in accepting the egotistic thrusting of men's sexual chauvinism. What this does is legitimise the aggression, harassment and even violence that men portray by projecting it as a normal and natural behaviour while rendering women inadvertently impotent in defending themselves against this behaviour.

To address this limp performance of our masculinity, particularly where sexual harassment and violence are concerned, Jamaican males need to be taught they have no property rights to the vagina. A female, regardless of her age, marital status, monogamous or harlot, is not your property. Both men and women would be better off if we (as men) control our ego and flaccid manhood by respecting the non-negotiable right of women to be free from sexual harassment.

Jaevion Nelson is a youth development, HIV and human rights advocate. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and jaevion@gmail.com.