Doctor's Advice: Artificial 'love juice' for my lady love

I am a guy, 25 years of age. I need your help to know about the types of lubricants that can be used during sex. This is because my partner's vagina gets dry during intercourse, and this gives her pain at the entrance. So, Doc, please suggest to me the lubricants that are easily available.

A: Well, many younger women do not actually need any artificial lubrication because they produce so much fluid of their own, but they only secrete that natural lubrication when they are completely relaxed and happy as well as sexually excited.

So my guess is that when your girlfriend learns to relax completely, she will produce enough of her own 'love juices' to make intercourse free from discomfort. However, it is important for guys to realise that female juices do not flow very much unless women are given gentle and skilful stimulation by their partners. So are you doing enough foreplay, I wonder?

Having said all that, I must admit that many women do need a little help in the lubrication department. And in recent years, the availability of good artificial lubricants has transformed the sex lives of many couples. So I agree that you should buy some 'lube', as people call it these days!

In pharmacies in Jamaica, I have often seen the excellent K-Y Jelly, which is intended for this purpose, and which can be bought with little or no embarrassment. Also, it is quite cheap.

But there are a lot of other very good 'lubes' these days. You may find some of them in your local pharmacy, but all of them can be purchased online. Of course, ordering via the Internet removes any embarrassment you might feel about buying a sex lubricant over the counter.

Effective brands that you can easily obtain from the net include:

Pjur Woman;

Astroglide;

Liquid Silk;

Trojan;

Passion;

Pink Silicone.

One thing I would advise you not to use is Vaseline. Many young couples try this to help them with sex and to reduce discomfort, but its big drawback is that it makes holes in condoms.

Strong feelings for men

I am male and in my early 20s. I have been going through a tough time identifying who I am sexually. I do have a girlfriend; however, Doctor, at the same time, I do have these feelings for guys. This is stressing me out badly. I sometimes get an erection when I see a young man naked. I really need your advice, for what is happening makes me feel like hiding away somewhere where I don't have to see anyone anymore.

A: Sorry to hear about all the stress you have been suffering. I have not published the whole of your email because the details are so sensitive, but I have to say that there is quite a chance that you are either homosexual or possibly bisexual.

You do not say what is going on between you and your girlfriend. Are you actually having sex with her? If so, do you enjoy it? Do you orgasm? And how does she feel about everything? If you would like to email me again, giving details on these points, I will try and help.

For the moment, I am sure that you should try and take life as calmly as possible. Avoid stresses. Do not get involved in sexual relationships - male or female!

I feel that you could go on seeing your girlfriend for the time being, but it would be most unwise to get her pregnant at this difficult time in your life. Also, do not get involved in any ideas of marriage.

Finally, if there is a sympathetic and open-minded counsellor in your area, please make an appointment to see him or her. Don't hesitate to email me again.

Crazy about sex!

I am female, age nearly 19, and my problem is that I am crazy about sex! Doctor, I really love it! I cannot help myself. I just adore having intercourse with a handsome guy. And when there is no suitable male around, I find that I have to masturbate to orgasm. Are there any tablets that would stop me from being so sexy?

A: Alas, no! It is obvious that you are a highly sexed young woman, and that is not your fault. But if you keep hopping into bed with any good-looking guy who is around, then you are soon going to end up in trouble. You will get pregnant, and you will probably catch a sexually transmitted infection (STI).

There are two things you can do at the moment. First, you can try and analyse why you are so keen on sex. For instance, do you have the idea that as a person, you are only of value when you have a man between your thighs? That attitude is quite common in young women. And if you think carefully about it, you will see that it is pretty irrational.

Second, you can try and put all your sexual energy into some other field. That is called sublimation. For example, many young people manage to sublimate their sex urges by throwing themselves enthusiastically into sports. I have known quite a few youngsters who did so much sports training that they temporarily reduced their interest in sex!

But in the long run, the answer to your problem may be to find yourself a good and loving steady partner with whom you can have intercourse whenever you want to.

Make sure that he is as interested in sex as you are.

Healthy seminal fluid?

At university, I have met an older guy who is trying to convince me that his seminal fluid would be good for my cervix healthwise. Can I believe this, Doc?

A: No. This strange idea used to be common in popular medical books, and it is possible that he has read one, but it was all foolishness.

Will the Pill give me thrombosis?

I am 17. If I go on the Pill, will I get thrombosis? My mother says that the risk is very high for young women.

A: The Pill can indeed cause thrombosis, which is clotting. But in fact, the age group that is most at risk is aged over 35.

In young women, the danger of thrombosis is very low, except if they are smokers.

No kissing after oral

My girlfriend and I would value your advice. To be frank, Doctor, she loves oral sex. It makes her orgasm in a way that nothing else does. But after I have done it to her, I usually want to kiss her. She cannot stand this! You see, she hates the taste and smell of her vagina on my lips, so she shrieks and jumps out of bed. Help us, please!

A: This reaction is extremely common in younger women. Many of them really dislike the odour and taste of vaginal juices - even their own. Your girlfriend is not abnormal.

But all you have to do is pause for a minute after giving her cunnilingus. Wash your face, and clean your teeth. Then all will be well.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.