Dear Doc: I can't climax

Q: Doctor, I am concerned about my boyfriend who I don't think is normal.

We have been together for a little over a year. He is a wonderful person, and I love him very much, and I know he loves me, too. The problem is that it seems as though he is always 'turned on' and wants to have sex with me every single day. Even though he climaxes every time we do it, he still remains turned on.

I don't know what is going on inside his body, but I don't think it is normal for a man to have sex each and every day and still be wanting more.

I am really worried about it. We do talk about it and he is just as concerned as I am.

Doctor, I need your advice. This all started a month ago.

A: I am very sorry to hear that this has been so distressing for you. What puzzles me is that all of it seems to have started just a month ago.

The fact is that some men actually like to have intercourse at least once per day, but what is odd in this case is that your partner's urge for sex daily just began a few weeks ago.

There are two possibilities: physical and psychological. As it relates to physical causes, these are very rare. Nevertheless, I think it would not hurt for your partner to have a complete check-up from a doctor. If the doctor suspects that your boyfriend is producing too much testosterone, he could arrange a hormone test, but I do not think that this is a likely explanation.

As it relates to psychological, well, sudden variations in male sexual behaviour do often have a psychological/emotional explanation. Sounds like something changed in your partner's mind a month ago.

The likely possibilities are:

He could be worrying about something. Does he have a secret to worry about?

He could also become very sexually active if he fears that his virility is fading. Does your boyfriend secretly think that if he doesn't have sex daily, he will lose his nature?

Men can become extraordinarily hypersexual if they fall in love with someone else. I do not think that is very likely in this case, since it sounds like this man is devoted to you.

Sometimes, a man becomes more highly sexed because his partner begins doing something which really excites him. So, have you changed your sexual behaviour recently?

At the moment, it is all a bit of a mystery. In my view, the best thing would be for the two of you to go and see a sympathetic counsellor who can help you sort out your feelings together. I wish you well.

Q: Doc, I am a 42-year-old married man. I had to go abroad on business, and when I came back, I found clear evidence that my wife had been unfaithful. To be frank, there was a big stain on the sheet.

Confronted with this evidence, she admitted that she had sex with someone while I was away. She claimed it was only once.

What I want to know is this: could my wife's unfaithfulness give me a venereal disease (VD)?

A: I am sorry to hear about this unpleasant situation. What particularly interests me is the reason why your wife allowed you to find this 'patch' on the sheet. It would have been so easy for her to have it cleaned while you were abroad.

Did she, perhaps, want you to find the stain? I have known cases where married people deliberately left evidence of adultery in the marital bed in order to provoke a divorce.

Also, please bear in mind that although your spouse says it only happened once, this might not be true. She may have committed adultery numerous times.

As it relates to a VD, there is a possibility that your wife has acquired some form of sexually transmitted infection (STI), so it would be wise for you not to have intercourse with her for the time being.

I suggest that you both see a doctor and have tests done for chlamydia and other STIs. The results of these tests should make the situation clearer. I hope you can save your marriage.

Q:My boyfriend and I are in our 20s. We recently got engaged and he has been talking about starting a family.

What he does not know is that I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) when I was 12 years old. I wonder if I should tell him that I have a reduced chance of conceiving?

Luckily, I have no symptoms, apart from lack of a menstrual cycle.

A: It would be unfair to encourage your fiancé to try and start a family, without telling him you have PCOS.

However, I am a little puzzled. You say that it was diagnosed when you were 12, which is surprisingly young. I feel that you should see a gynaecologist who can examine you and tell you whether you really have PCOS and also give you some idea of your chances of conceiving.

You need to find out more about this condition and how it may affect you and your fertility. I strongly recommend that you check out the website of the very reliable Mayo Clinic in the United States.

I hope that everything works out for you.

Q: I notice that whenever I am in proximity to someone who sneezes or coughs, my breath automatically stops for fear that I might catch some form of germ.

When I realise that this is happening, I find it hard to start breathing again, then I feel like I'm suffocating.

Is this some form of medical condition? If so, what is it called?

A: No, you don't really have a true medical condition. In fact, holding your breath for a few seconds when someone coughs or sneezes may actually protect you from infection!

However, your feelings of suffocation are clearly due to excessive anxiety. You should talk to a doctor or a therapist about that. Good luck in overcoming this difficulty.

WellISex.Relationships.Health.Fitness

Q: I am a guy who just can't reach a climax when I am inside a woman. I can do so at other times, like when I am petting with a woman.

Why is this please?

A: You have a fairly common psychological condition called 'delayed ejaculation'. If you research it online, you'll find that it can be successfully treated by a full course of psychotherapy.