DOCTOR'S ADVICE - He felt me up!

Q: Doctor, I am a slightly bewildered wife and I could do with your advice. Last week, my husband and I were at a party at a friend's house. There was dancing and a good deal of drinking. The atmosphere was quite romantic, and I found myself dancing with one of my husband's male colleagues. To my horror, when we were in a dark corner he slipped his hand up my skirt and touched my private parts. I was so stunned that I didn't tell him 'No'. It went on for around two minutes. Then the music ended, and the lights went up. The awful thing is that I realised at that point that I had quite enjoyed it. Now I have two questions, Doctor. Firstly, is it possibly to catch any kind of sexually transmitted infection (STI) from the touch of a man's hand? Secondly, should I tell my husband?

A: Well, this story really does demonstrate the perils of drinking. Fortunately, it doesn't seem to have gone very far.

As it relates to the question of STIs, most of them are not very likely to be transmitted by the touch of a man's hand on a woman's genitals. The main exception is the case of human papilloma virus (HPV), which causes cervical cancer, and other cancers. And HPV can occasionally be transmitted by hand contact.

However, you may be surprised to learn that it is highly likely that at some stage in your life, your body has already encountered HPV, and defeated it! These days, that is the case with most sexually-experienced adult women.

Incidentally, I hope that you have regular Pap smears. If so, then you have practically nothing to fear from HPV.

Now, your second question is: should you tell your husband? Wow! That is a very difficult one. I have known cases where wives told their spouses things like these and the result was anger and violence.

Presumably, you know your husband's personality well and you must be aware of whether he has a bad temper or whether he is a placid man. All I can say to you is: don't rush into telling him. Why not talk it over with a reliable female friend or perhaps with a minister of religion, before you make up your mind?

Take care not to meet this other man again! He may well be hoping to persuade you to give him 'a little more'.

Q: Doc, I am tired of going to the doctor with my problem. I have a white and cloudy discharge from my vagina and antibiotics do not work.  I was told that it is called 'the Klebsiella infection'.

A: Are you sure about that? Klebsiella is a germ that causes the relatively uncommon tropical disease known as granuloma inguinale, which is characterised by ulcers in the genital and groin area. It does not usually cause a white discharge.

Also, it would be impossible to make a diagnosis of Klebsiella infection without doing lab tests. Have you actually had these done?  My feeling is that you should see a specialist such as a gynaecologist, to try and get this sorted out. Good luck.

Q: Doc, I am a 35-year-old male and I am not circumcised.  Is it true that this makes me more susceptible to veneral disease and AIDS?

A: Well, sexually-transmitted infections, including HIV infection, are a little more common in men who are uncircumcised.  This is because germs like to nest in folds of skin such as the folds of the foreskin.  However, you are unlikely to pick up any infection if you take reasonable precautions. To be specific, don't 'sleep around', and do use condoms.

Q: In the past, I was in a relationship with a man in Kingston who got another woman pregnant. Heartbroken, I went off to the country, and, unfortunately, got pregnant by another man with whom I had fallen in love.  In a desperate situation, I went back to Kingston and met the first guy again. I tried to explain to him what happened, but, for some reason, he started telling everybody that he was the father of my unborn child! I didn't want to embarrass him, so eventually I did the unthinkable and let him believe that it really was his child.

Since then, we have been living together and I have had a daughter. I had completely cut the real father out of the baby's life. But he has called several times - first saying that he wanted me to do an abortion, and then that he wants me and his baby back. He said he had made 'a terrible mistake'.  I must admit that I am still in love with him. In fact, I had never stopped loving him, and I know he loves me and loves the baby even more.

Since all this has happened, I am not happy, because I am waking up every day with someone I do not love. It is like my body is here, but my heart is somewhere else.  So I am asking you, Doc: what should I do?

A: I am sorry you have found yourself in such a situation, but you have to focus on looking after your child, and giving her a good, safe home. I am doubtful that her future (and yours) lie with this man in Kingston. After all, he is not the father, and you do not love him.

As it relates to the other guy, he doesn't seem to be very good at making up his mind, but he claims to love you and it appears you love him. Also, he is the father of your daughter.

Sounds like you may have relatives in country. If so, could you go and stay with them for a while? My advice is to stay away from men for a while. At all costs, do not get pregnant again.  When you have been on your own for six months or so, it will be easier for you to see whether you want to 'hook up' with the guy in the country. I wish you and your daughter all the best.

Q: I am 47 and have a swollen testicle. Could this be cancer?

A: Cancer of the testicle is more common in much younger men. So my guess is that you probably have an infection, rather than cancer. Nevertheless, you must see a doctor this week, and you may well need an ultrasound scan of the testicle. But I am sure all will be well.