Sixty-two years and going strong

Karrie Williams, Gleaner Writer

WESTERN BUREAU:

Sixty-two years and counting is how long Ernest and Kathleen Sterling of Montego Bay have been married.  The Sterlings, who own and operate one of Montego Bay's oldest and most popular boutique hotels, Verney House, met in 1949.

Kathleen was 19 years of age and Ernest 25. Ernest cherishes the story of how they met.

"We were both tenants at the same rental home. I was already living there and she was just moving in. The moment I saw her, I knew there was something special about her," he recalled.

He quickly befriended the 'new tenant', and before long, they were 'hanging out' together. Having identified her as having the requisite qualities he was seeking in a life partner, Ernest said he made his intentions clear, and two years later, on Christmas Day, 1951, they got married.

The happy couple went on to have six children, all with established careers ranging from law to engineering to real estate, who have blessed the older Sterlings with 23 grandchildren and 17 great-grandchildren.

Sitting in the hotel's courtyard with its view of the Montego Bay west coast, Ernest shared the couple's secrets for a long and happy marriage.

"The thing about marriage is you must know what you want out of what you going are into. In other words, you see each other, you like each other, but you are looking for certain qualities in the person, and if you don't see those qualities, then you don't bother getting married. A lot of young people get into marriage without knowing each other properly, and then within a few months, they start to pull apart," he said.

"Teeth and tongue must meet, and you cannot change a person to suit yourself, therefore, you have to make a lot of sacrifices and compromise, but the main things are communication, respect each other, and the third, which is very important, is to trust each other. If you are late coming home one day and there is no trust, the mind starts straying, and as you get home, instead of saying 'Hi, baby. How was your day?' the person says, 'Where were you? etc, etc, and then there's a fight," he added.

Ernest recounted how he lived his life before meeting his wife.

"When I was younger, I was in the service - the army. I was around a lot of girls and we used to run around and party together, but when I decided my mind that I wanted to get married, then I said to myself, 'All these girls around me, could they be my wife?' and the answer was no because we partied together. I needed a woman that I can respect and my friends can respect and her children can be proud of her as a mother," he stated emphatically.

JEALOUSY IS BAD

"We have been married 60-odd years and I have never asked my wife where she was coming from. Jealousy is a very bad thing. If she wants to do anything, I can't stop her as she will find ways and means of doing what she wants to do, so just trust each other and communicate," he advised.

Agreeing with her husband, a very soft-spoken Kathleen said couples must strive to work together so that they can become friends and cultivate healthy and happy relationships.

"We just work together. We love each other and we communicate openly with patience and understanding towards each other," she said.

Today, one would imagine they were retired, but even at just a few months shy of his 90th birthday, Ernest is still actively involved in their 22-room hotel.

He praises his long-standing employees for their dedication and hard work over the years in establishing Verney House as one of Montego Bay's favourite places for overseas visitors with a reputation for catering and weddings.

"Any business you have, your employees can break or make you. Most of my staff have been with me for more than 20 years, and I'm sure if they were not comfortable, they would not still be here," he explained.