DOCTOR'S ADVICE - He wants to share me!

• He wants to share me!

Q. I am in love with a boy who is the same age as me. And he says he loves me, though sometimes I am not so sure. We have been having sex for around three months now, and I had no idea it could be so good. Fortunately, he has a room where we can go without any chance of being disturbed. So there is no danger that my mother or father will interrupt us. At present, we are not really using any contraception, except 'being careful', so I get a little anxious each time my menses are due. But so far, so good, Doc. Well, the reason I am writing to you is this: He has a close friend. They have been pals since they were children. Apparently, they have always shared everything. And my boyfriend has suggested to me that one night they could share me. I am not so sure about that. He says it would be fun. But I am wondering how a guy could love me and yet want to share me with another boy.

A: Well, you are quite right to be doubtful about this crazy idea. Unfortunately, young men do sometimes get the foolish notion that they would like to share a girl with a friend, but that sort of behaviour usually leads to trouble.

You could wind up with a sexually transmitted infection, or you could find you are pregnant - especially as you are not using any reliable form of contraception - and in that case, you would not know who the father was, would you?  Also, I must warn you that having sex with two men tends to be a rather messy business. You might well find yourself disgusted by what happens.

Now, does this boyfriend really love you? I must tell you that in my experience, men who want to 'split' a girlfriend with some other guy are most definitely not in love with her.  One of the most powerful features of true love is wanting to keep the beloved to oneself and not being willing to share her with others. So if a guy really loves a woman, he would do almost anything to prevent her from having sex with another person. That's how it is.  My sad conclusion is that this young man probably does not love you. He probably likes you, and is fond of you and likes your company, but it doesn't sound like love. Maybe it is time for you to move on.

• I want a vasectomy

Q. I am a guy of 19, and although I really do enjoy sex, I definitely do not want to have any children. Ever. So, could I find a doctor who would do a vasectomy for me? In fact, would you do it, Doctor?

A: Emphatically not! Indeed, I don't think that any ethically minded doctor anywhere in the world would do a vasectomy on a guy who is as young as 19.

Generally speaking, a vasec-tomy is for men who are aged over 30 and who have completed their families. I suppose that if you had enough money, you might find a surgeon in the United States of America or in Latin America who would vasectomise you in return for an enormous fee. But the whole idea would be crazy.  My advice: for the moment: Use condoms. One day you may meet a girl who will change your mind about having children.

• What is the mini-Pill?

Q.  I have led a bit of a wild sex life since I left school. So my mother and my doctor want me to take that 'mini-Pill' thing, but I don't really understand what it is. Can you please explain?

A: Sure. The mini-Pill is much milder than the ordinary Pill, because it contains only one hormone, instead of two. However, that does make it slightly less effective than the 'real' Pill. But it will keep you protected against pregnancy provided that you take it every single day without any breaks, even when you are seeing your menses.

Possible side effects of the mini-Pill include:

• Breast discomfort;
• Spots on the face;
• Dizziness;
• Slight weight gain;
• Headache.

Nevertheless, most young women who try it are very happy with the mini-Pill.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com.