Sex, rape, and self-control

Every week, it seems there is a report of the rape of little primary schoolgirls; and a hue and cry is raised about the sexual abuse of children. The outrage is not usually matched with a comprehensive examination of the issues involved.

Is the rape of underage girls in Jamaica unusual? Apparently not! The 2008 Jamaica Reproductive Health Survey (RHS) found that for females aged 15-19, the average age of first sexual intercourse, increased from 15.2 in 2002 to 15.3 years in 2008, which is below the age of consent.

This means that the first sexual experience of the average Jamaican girl is statutory rape, one form of child abuse. More than half of Jamaican women aged 15-19 years in 2008 were victims of child abuse. Maybe half of Jamaican men are guilty of statutory rape - of sexual abuse of young girls. That would include the male and female occupants of Gordon House, and those reading this.

How does this relate to the revelation a few years ago by a respected Jamaican psychiatrist that 40 per cent of Jamaicans suffer from some form of personality disorder? We need to admit, frankly, that Jamaican society is a sick society. And we must resolve to do something about it.

puberty

Sexuality is part of normal human make-up, and hormonal changes during adolescence prepare the bodies of boys and girls for sexual and reproductive activity. Meanwhile, the children are in school learning the discipline of learning.

An increasing number of Jamaican young people also play sports and games, some disciplining their bodies to quite a high level, which involves disciplining their minds too. Self-discipline in athletics and academics is prized in Jamaica; but discipline in sexual matters is not as highly valued. This, apparently, is the root of the problem.

Previously, the received wisdom was that 'maturity' meant learning how to discipline oneself, including in sexual matters. Postponing sexual intercourse, at least until after one's schooling was complete, was the ideal - as was channelling one's sexual drive into one faithful lifelong relationship.

Then came the sexual revolution. Virginity and celibacy were now considered as 'suppressing' one's natural sexual urges, and the ethic was now to "fulfil oneself". So, in the words of previous number-one songs: If it feels good, do it! And don't stop till you get enough!

doing as one feels

And so if a father feels like having sex with his 'sexy' 15-year-old daughter, he mustn't stop till he gets enough, even if that is called incest. And if a 55-year-old man feels like having a 14-year-old girl tonight, do it till you're satisfied, even if that is called carnal abuse. But if she is 16, that's okay, since she is now over the age of consent.

I think that we have been looking at this problem from the wrong angle. Big men who want to have sex with children, who cannot relate to women of their own age are maladjusted, immature and, possibly mentally ill.

Adolescence is a time to learn how to respect others (men and women) and to interact as true friends. Those who spend their adolescence pursuing sex will be stunted in their personal development. Sexual intercourse just for pleasure (or for fried chicken or rent money) treats the other person as an object. Sex is not a substitute for deep interpersonal intercourse, the type of intimacy which allows minds to meet before the bodies do.

I'm not sure people are making the connection between child sexual abuse and values that promote sexual permissiveness. Persons who learn sexual self-control when they are young, and those who learn to take part in strong friendships with their peers are less likely to indulge in early sexual activity, and to abuse children later on.

But there is much militating against the young learning sexual self-control. We live in a highly sexualised society where popular music and videos promote hedonism and casual sex. The values and attitudes campaign has long been abandoned, leaving the dance hall as the training ground for the young.

immediate gratification

Sexual activity is exhilarating, and practitioners often ignore long-term consequences and invest in short-term thrills. Self-discipline is the assertion of the will over our more base desires. Jamaica needs a sex policy based on teaching self-control and self-discipline to our young people.

Self-discipline is the ultimate path towards personal and societal success. At the moment, we are headed in the opposite direction.

The Rev Peter Espeut is a sociologist and Roman Catholic deacon. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com.