Keiran King doesn't know 'diddly-squat'

Tessanne-mania and Jamaica - national embarrassments?

Egerton Chang, GUEST COLUMNIST

In an article titled 'Tessanne-mania is a national embarrassment', Gleaner online columnist Keiran King wrote on Wednesday, February 5, 2014, inter alia:

"Let's get one thing out of the way: Tessanne Chin can sing. Not like your sister-in-law in the church choir. This girl can grab a note and raise your ancestors with it. After years of hard work - hustling restaurants, hotels, corporate soirées, soca fetes, Jazz & Blues - she deserved a break.

But this isn't about Tessanne. This is about us. The rest of us. The 2.8 million of us who aren't her, who sat glued to our screens every Monday night for months, who generated a never-ending stream of Facebook and Twitter posts like so many hyperactive schoolgirls, who bought T-shirts emblazoned with empty slogans, who plastered results in our workplaces, who harassed our relatives abroad to vote, who all in all behaved as if this privileged 28-year-old entertainer was the persecuted civil-rights leader on whose shoulders the very future of the country depended.

None of it mattered. It's actually hard to think of anything more insipid than the results of a reality television show. Your breakfast has a bigger impact on your life. Your last phone call. Your underwear.

Many Jamaicans think their borderline obsession was a vaguely noble form of 'support' for the songstress. As if our slack-jawed viewing habit somehow transported good vibes across an ocean and gave her the strength to overcome otherwise-insurmountable psychological hardships.

News flash: Tessanne Chin spends most of her time thinking about herself, and what's left over on her friends and family. Just like you, just like me. Stacked against her parents and her husband, your 'support' amounted to diddly-squat."

Now, most of my readers know that I am one of those "hyperactive schoolgirls" in my support of Tessanne.

Mr King 'won' probably the most comments ever (300-plus), but I will only quote that of TeamJamaica that summed up my sentiments (and the overwhelming majority) thus:

"I'm sure there is a valid point in spite of the vitriol, which is that we should pull ourselves up by hard work and not project our national ambitions on to those who work to distinguish themselves.

But Mr King should not discount the national pride we must feel when our little dot is recognised globally for something good, or special, or outstanding. Nor should he surmise that our support amounts to "diddly-squat", or why would the ones seeking to distinguish themselves court our support and attention so. Either because they do need the support to achieve the victory or financial rewards (e.g. Tessanne and playwrights) or they still need to feel grounded (e.g. entertainers and athletes), and who better to ground us than our own. Apparently, achievement is hollow if it is not recognised or celebrated, so we do need each other after all, and everybody has their role to play, even the "hyperactive schoolgirls".

Mr King, however, is made of far sterner stuff and requires nothing of us. Let us, therefore, respect his wishes and pay no further attention to his output or offerings, lest we further embarrass our nation and ourselves."

The Gleaner, in announcing his addition to its columnists, listed the following "trivia you might not have known" about Mr King:

"King is a university dropout, is writing his fifth play and has skinny-dipped with 19 other people in a pool."

What do you think? Should we end our support of our Reggae Boys and our Sunshine Girls? What about our Cool Runnings bobsled team, or Portia, or Andrew? Perhaps, our support for them amounts to "diddly-squat".

Jamaica, Guyana at the bottom

When I was growing up in the late 1950s and '60s, I used to take pride in Jamaica's place at the top - as the biggest, the best, the highest, the most, etc, of all the English-speaking Caribbean islands (including The Bahamas) in whatever. We produced the most sugar and bananas. We had bauxite. We had the best athletes, footballers, table tennis players, etc. And, of course, the highest (by far) per capita gross national income (GNI).

I fully realise that over the years, we have been surpassed by a couple of our English-speaking island neighbours. But it came as a shock to see a Caribbean Media Corporation (CMC) report published December 23, 2013 titled 'Bahamas listed as wealthiest CARICOM country', which had as its subtitle, 'Jamaica, Guyana at the bottom in World Bank study'.

The report stated:

"The World Bank has rated The Bahamas as the wealthiest Caribbean Community (CARICOM) country.

The Washington-based financial institution said that the Bahamas is the most economically prosperous country relying on tourism to generate most of its economic activity. It said that the tourism industry not only accounts for more than 60 per cent of the Bahamian gross domestic product (GDP), but provides jobs for more than half the country's workforce.

The Bahamas, with a gross national income (GNI) of US$21,280, is one of the richest countries in the Americas.

The World Bank, in its 2014 World Development Report, noted that oil-rich Trinidad and Tobago, with a GNI of US$14,440, is one of the wealthiest and well-developed nations in the Caribbean.

In November 2011, the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development removed Trinidad and Tobago from its list of developing countries.

The report goes on to state:

Jamaica, which has had to look to the International Monetary Fund for assistance in shoring up its economy, is listed below Dominica and St Vincent and the Grenadines, but above Guyana (which was at the bottom).

The island, with a GNI of US$5,140, has a mixed economy with both state enterprises and private-sector businesses."

With our per-capita GNI being less than a quarter of The Bahamas and less than a half of Antigua and Barbuda, surely, Mr King would describe Jamaica as another national embarrassment? Would you?

That's service for you

I had been banking at a certain 'you are safe with us' bank for some 11 years and from time to time had been having certain issues with them concerning their service.

Anyway, I got home a little early one evening and received a call at around 5:45 p.m. The voice sounded foreign. She said she was calling from Gallup and she was conducting a survey of customers of the said bank and asked if I would answer a few questions.

I, having been so regularly disappointed in the bank's service, told the lady that it would not make sense and told her why. She asked me if I wanted someone from the bank to call me, and I answered no. She was so conversational, that before I knew it, I had answered two or three questions. So I told her that I would complete the questionnaire. During the course of the survey, the lady repeatedly asked me if I wanted anyone to call me, and I repeatedly said no.

After completing the questions, she again asked me. Exasperated, I finally said, "Yes, have someone from the bank call me."

That was seven years ago. I am still waiting!

Egerton Chang is a businessman. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and e_rider69@hotmail.com.

Selected Countries GNI (US$)

Bahamas 21,280

Trinidad & Tobago 14,440

St Kitts-Nevis 13,330

Antigua & Barbuda 12,640

Suriname 8,480

Grenada 7,110

Dominica 7,090

St Lucia 6,530

St Vincent & the Grenadines 6,320

Jamaica 5,140

Guyana < 3,500

Source: World Bank