Luther, stop wasting time

By George Davis

The House of Representatives is a curious place. Contrary to what many who are too lazy to follow the weekly proceedings will quickly allege, much important business, conducted by ladies and gentlemen, happens there on Tuesday afternoons.

These same ladies and gentlemen are, at a moment's notice, prone to the kind of quarrelling which would not be out of place among ladies of the night, jostling to sell their services to the one moneyed man who rolls up in his chariot on the Back Road in Portmore, on a slow Friday in August.

It's almost as if someone flicks a switch several times during each sitting, changing the House from a serious, business-focused chamber into a raucous dorm room-type setting where young men high on liquor but low on skills attempt to force themselves upon young women they heard were easy.

In this tangle of intellect, stupidity, banality, crassness, wit, flair, make-up, false hair and at least one hearing aid, one man stands out. No, it's not Everald Warmington. Even he is overshadowed by the best exponent of boorishness in the Parliament of January 2012, the Honourable Luther Buchanan, MP for Eastern Westmoreland.

Luther behaves as if he genuinely revels in his role as attack dog for the 42-strong members on the government benches in the House. His excellent attendance record is perhaps a reflection of a grave fear that, in his absence, someone on his side may shout 'rubbish' or 'bwoy siddung' more stylishly than him and so take his place as the person designated to scatter the pigeons on the opposition benches.

It would be interesting to know what Luther's official role is as part of the government team in the House. Is Luther given a daily brief? Is he instructed to heckle specific opposition members? Is he restricted to monosyllabic barbs thrown across the floor with a shrill shriek, rather than with the booming command of Maas Bobby, the Climate Change Minister?

Does Luther warm up for his weekly Tuesday routine in the House by sitting in front of his mirror at home, shouting 'rubbish' or 'siddung bwoy' while looking at pictures of Pearnel, Desmond, JC and Karl? Was Luther handed the rabble-rousing job by virtue of his unique talents or was he picked from a clutch of candidates in the PNP's MP caucus?

LOUDER THAN A BIKE

Does Luther not realise the value of being known as a keen legislator with a reputation for engaging in keen debate, rather than an MP who sits in the House waiting for a chance to show that he's louder than a motorbike? Does Luther know what his constituents say, or are likely to say, about him when they describe the quality of his representation in the Parliament to someone else? Does he care? Do you care, Luther?

I confess to being stumped by how a man who has worked so hard to win two general elections in Eastern Westmoreland, following in the footsteps of party legend Percival James Patterson, can be satisfied with performing the role of a limited, foul-mouthed verbal enforcer.

Where P.J. was pithy, for Luther I feel pity. Pity, because as one of the persons good enough to get good people to vote for him in their numbers at election time, he does precious little to bathe them in the afterglow of pride when he opens his mouth in the House.

Luther can do worse than look around his side of Gordon House for examples he would be wise to emulate. Veterans such as Simpson Miller, Davies, the elder Phillips along with fellow Westmoreland lads Roger and Wykeham cannot be bad examples for Luther to emulate.

The young lion, Damion Crawford, and his fellow new bloods, Raymond Pryce and Dr Dayton Campbell, have, through private members' motions or presentations in the Sectoral Debate, already showed Luther how to go about building a reputation for quality in the House.

Luther is at a privileged place from where he can do much good for those who sent him to Gordon House and others of us who still care about the quality of our governance process.

Luther, I begging you, cut the foolishness and stop waste time.

Selah.

George Davis is a journalist. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and george.s.davis@hotmail.com.