DOCTOR'S ADVICE - Does he love me, Doc?

• Does he love me, Doc?

Q. Doc, I am a young teenage girl, and I just don't know what to do. I have fallen in love with a boy. This month, I thought I was pregnant by him, and I would like to know if you think he loves me. He and his family moved to our town just a few months ago. All the girls found him fascinating and sexy. He is very handsome and taller than the other guys in my area. He is a good athlete, too.

Well, Doc, when I first saw him, it was like a blow to my heart. I thought that I had never seen anyone so marvellous. So when he asked me out one evening, I was surprised and delighted. We went down to the beach and walked and talked under the trees. Pretty soon, he kissed me. I had never been kissed before. In no time, I found we were lying down on the sand and within a few seconds, he was inside me. This was my first time ever, Doc.

Much to my surprise, he did not ask me out the next night. In fact, when we passed in the street, he just kind of waved his hand then carried on talking to his friends. He did come and find me a few days later. We went for a walk, and he kissed me a lot, and told me that I was very beautiful. But then some older folks came along, so we had to split up and go home.

Then came my big 'scare'. My menses did not arrive, so I sent him a note, saying that I was pregnant. But it turned out that he had to go to Port Antonio on family business, so I don't think he ever got my letter. A friend told me that she heard he was not coming back. I prayed a lot, and then I had the good fortune to find that my period arrived. It was three days late, but it was there. So can I now assume I am not pregnant? But what I want to ask you most of all, Doc, is this: Do you think that this boy loves me?

A. Well, you have certainly had an interesting few weeks. You have fallen in love for the first time, experienced your first kiss, then lost your virginity, and after that, you had a pregnancy scare.

Let me first answer your question about pregnancy and the menses. If you really have had a period, then you are not pregnant. I am assuming that this wasn't just a short 'bleed' that lasted a few minutes. From what you say, it sounds like real menstruation. That makes pregnancy almost impossible.

Second, you ask me whether this young man loves you. I regret to say that you have not the slightest evidence of that.

Please look at the facts. This handsome guy asked you to go for a walk on the beach, kissed you, and then rapidly seduced you. He didn't say 'I love you' or anything like that. And when he saw you in the street, he wasn't delighted to have encountered you. Instead, he just waved his hand - and carried on talking to his pals.

He may or may not have received the letter in which you told him that you thought you were pregnant, but you have not seen him since, and he has made no effort to get in touch with you. To sum up, the evidence that he loves you amounts to precisely nil. I am sorry to tell you that, but it is a fact.

You, on the other hand, are clearly in love with him. I have every sympathy for you. Being in love when you are a teen, and not being loved back, is deeply distressing. However, I can assure you that your feelings for this guy will eventually pass. I have seen many such cases, and the intense emotions do fade away in the fullness of time.

What should you do now? Well first, my advice to you is steer clear of boys altogether for at least six months until everything has calmed down in your mind. Second, at the moment, you should be on the lookout for any signs of a sexually transmitted infection. For instance, if you get a bad vaginal discharge, or pain passing urine, or any kind of discomfort in your private parts, then please see a doctor right away. I wish you well, and I share your relief that at least you are not pregnant by this 'Romeo'.

• Bleeding during masturbation

Q Help me, Doc! I am a guy of 17, and while masturbating last night, I produced some blood.  Is this serious? Am I going to die?

ANo, you are not going to die. The likelihood is that you have just broken a small blood vessel (that is, a blood-carrying tube) inside you. But you should see a doctor and have him check out your equipment.

• What happens during a Pap smear?

QDoc, I have to have a Pap smear, but I have no idea what it involves, so naturally, I am fretting. What happens, please?

A Don't fret. It is no big deal. What happens is this. Generally, you lie on your back on a flat couch. But some doctors (and nurses) prefer you to lie on your left side. The doctor then picks up a slim instrument called a speculum. This can be made of metal or of plastic. It is very clean.

He slips it gently into the vagina. Then, when it is inside you, he opens it up an inch or two. This allows him to look far into you, and with the aid of a strong light, to see your cervix. Once he can get a good view of the cervix, he picks up a little medical instrument, about the size of a pen. He uses that to takes some cells from the cervix. This does not usually hurt.

The idea of taking the cells is so that they can be examined by the lab under a microscope. From looking at them, the laboratory people will be able to see if there are any abnormalities. The Pap smear is valuable in detecting cells that might one day become cancerous. Please go ahead and have it done.

• Getting rid of semen stains

QDoc, can you tell me how I get seminal stains out of my sheets? You see, I am a guy of 18 and I just keep having these sexy dreams. The result is that my sheet gets badly stained. That is incredibly embarrassing for me as I am living with a family who would be shocked if they knew that I was having climaxes in my sleep.

A Well, anyone who is well informed would know that many young men cannot help having orgasms in their sleep. However, I can understand that you want to get rid of these stains. The best way to do it is with a nail-brush dipped in cold, soapy water. The damp patch will then take around 20-30 minutes to dry, depending on whether you have air conditioning.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.