Injections to kill erections

Michael Abrahams, Online Columnist

Jamaica has way too many single mothers and absentee fathers, and we are seeing the deleterious effects of that void in society today. As a matter of fact, a recent report by UNICEF stated that father absence was the "single largest social issue of our time". To make matters worse, for many women, the absentee father situation is a double whammy. Their fathers were absent in their childhoods, and the fathers of their children are also missing in action.

The importance of a healthy father-child relationship cannot be overstated. Fathers have positive influences on child outcomes including cognitive ability, educational achievement, psychological well-being and social development. On the other hand, the effects of paternal absenteeism are well researched and documented, and include increased rates of depression and suicide, higher school dropout and incarceration rates, increased divorce rates and greater likelihood of substance abuse.

There are many good fathers in Jamaica, but absent and worthless dads also abound, chronically traumatising their kids. A friend of mine has a teenage daughter who has an absentee father she had not seen in about a year. One day while travelling in her mother's car, on realising that her father was driving the vehicle in front of them, she called his cell phone, only to see him look down on the device, ignore the call, and continue driving.

Another female friend of mine has a son who did very well in GSAT, and, on hearing of his success, his deadbeat dad called to congratulate him and offered to assist financially by buying him "pencils and exercise books". Then there are the cruel and vindictive fathers who figure that once the relationship with the mother is over, so is the relationship with the offspring.

Either that or they focus their energy on making the child's mother's life hell.I know of someone who is wealthy and owns several vehicles and houses and has a lovely daughter. The mother of the child, who is no longer with him, does not earn much or possess a vehicle. But the father had to be taken to court for child support and shows little interest in spending time with his child or assisting with transporting her to and from school, which is basically 'up the road' from where he lives.Some fathers may be physically present but psychologically absent or emotionally unavailable.

These may actually do more damage. Paying school fees and providing financial support is not enough. Children require quality time for optimum development. I remember attending sports day for one of my children, and after completing a race, I observed a little boy running to the stands shouting excitedly to his father, "Daddy, did you see me? Did you see me, Daddy?" Yes, it is a big deal to kids for their fathers to be there for them and to support them in their endeavours.Men are not the only ones to blame for the absentee-father epidemic, however. Women have to accept some responsibility as well. Too often, women engage in unprotected sex with men they know are worthless and will be unsuitable fathers.

Some deliberately get pregnant to try to 'hold a man'. Some get pregnant for married men knowing they have no intention of leaving their wives and will, therefore, not be easily accessible to their children. Women are also to blame for allowing the majority of these men to get away with their irresponsible behaviour. Many say that they "just can't bother". While going through the legal process can be tedious, frustrating and painful, failure to demand justice sends a message that this type of behaviour is acceptable and that the perpetrators need not worry about consequences.

This country definitely needs stricter child-support laws. I have this fantasy that if I were prime minister, I would pass a law that would require deadbeat dads to get a series of injections that would prevent them from getting erections until they properly support their kids.

Why should they be out there having a good time and propagating their DNA while their children are left wanting?So nuff respect to all the good fathers in Jamaica. The country needs you. But to all those men who are unwilling to shoulder the responsibility of raising children: If procreation is not your goal, then pinch, leave an inch and roll.

Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and michabe_1999@hotmail.com, or tweet him @mikeyabrahams.