Think out of the box

Anthony Gambrill

In this world of rapidly changing technology, it is crucial to ramp up innovation in all spheres of endeavour. Thinking out of the box, or coming up with ideas where and when they are least expected, has to be the order of the day. It is just too easy to rely on the status quo, which we are too often prone to do.

In the past, the education system in Jamaica hasn't generally encouraged creativity in thinking (you have to keep in line, don't rock the boat, be conventional). But there is evidence that that attitude is changing and plenty of evidence in entertainment and the arts that the box is often thought out of. On the retail front, not long ago, Jamaica Producers began putting men and women on the streets of Kingston selling five fresh bananas in a plastic bag for $100, which is proving novel - and popular.

Not every out-of-the-box idea is practical or easy to implement, but to get you started, here are a few of mine.

Pizza: This Americanised Italian speciality needs a distinctive Jamaican flavour. Tired of the same old cheese-and-pepperoni? Why not try curry goat pizza, or stamp and go pizza (for people in a hurry), ackee pizza and, sooner or later, ganja pizza?

Tourism: (Now) We have established ourselves as the world's all-inclusive discount destination. It is time we offer other potentially more lucrative tourists a chance to be adventurous. If not, they may well not be sure whether they are in Cancun, Ocho Rios or Samana.

Engaging one of the new technologies, the app, Jamaica could market its product offerings by appealing to the ethnic origins of the visitor. Tap in 'G' for Germany and you'll be introduced to the German settlement in Seaford Town. Push 'S' for Spain and you can go on a virtual tour of Seville, Spanish Town, the Rio Grande and Mount Diablo. For the English, what could be more nostalgic than visiting the tottering facade of King's House in Spanish Town's Emancipation Square, or the venerable Fort Augusta women's prison? The possibilities are endless: 'C' for Chinese (the boxing arena on Old Hope Road), 'I' for India, 'F' for France, 'L' for Lebanon, 'H' for Haiti (the beach at Manchioneal where guns are exchanged for ganja).

Usain Bolt: We really haven't maximised the potential of the Bolt phenomenon. Did you know that the Real Madrid football team has a new English galactico called Gareth Bale who is so fast the media refer to him as Usain Bale? But if Jamaica is to parlay the Bolt phenomenon - I mean we can't depend on Bob Marley forever - to attract tourist interest - Usain has to take on new challenges in supermanship. We need him to climb Everest, swim the English Channel and cycle in the Tour de France. He'd look good wearing the winner's shirt at the finish line on the Champs Elysees.

NATIONAL RECOGNITION

It seems it doesn't matter what category of endeavour you are in, somebody in Jamaica will big you up: teachers, farmers, policemen, nurses, spellers, community leaders, household helpers, unsung heroes. But what about the Tainos, the island's original inhabitants who arrived before Christopher Columbus? The problem is that there are probably only a few around to demand public recognition with a national holiday honouring them.

It is faintly possible that some of today's Maroons can claim lineage going back 400 years to when slaves of the Spanish and English era took to the mountains. It is time for recognition to be given to our departed and disappeared ancestors. Is this a new challenge for Verene Shepherd et al?

WALK THE TALK AWARDS

Almost every week an announcement is made by private- and public-sector individuals about what they are going to do to deal with one or more of our problems: poor exam results, blocked drains, lottery scam, subteen mothers, traffic congestion. We have come to expect 'talking the talk' but seldom 'walking the walk'. I propose we keep up a list of all the talk and hand out awards - autographed photos of Phillip Paulwell - if the talker has actually walked the walk.

WHAT ARE POLITICIANS UP TO?

It's getting more difficult every day to keep track of our politicians, so why not employ mini-drones to follow them around? This might not only tell us what they are up to, but if the drones are equipped with super sensitive microphones, we should be able to hear what they are saying too. Worth a try, isn't it? The United States would no doubt be willing to help us keep track of our peripatetic PM with the help of NASA.

FIGHTING CRIME

Earlier this year, it was reported in the press that Jamaica had turned down the proposal by the British Government to send its prisoners of Jamaican origin (who would probably be deported eventually) to serve out their terms in Jamaican gaols. However, there is no room in our already overcrowded prisons, and what's more, the conditions in the UK gaols are far more pleasant. So much for that - but wait - isn't this the opportunity for an out-of-the-box solution in part at least to our growing crime crisis?

It will mean getting our heads out of the sand and being prepared to admit to the world that despite our best endeavours, conditions in our prison hover somewhere between unsatisfactory and appalling. So here's how we can make lemon juice out of a lemon, so to speak.

Launch a massive educational campaign, starting with the schools, to reveal how awful it is to be incarcerated. The cells, the food, the lack of recreational facilities, few if any opportunities to learn useful skills, to say nothing of the experience of bunking in with another inmate. Use plenty of graphics (a picture is worth a thousand words), personal testimonies, recreations, etc. Sure, it means having to do our dirty laundry in front of the world, but as a deterrent, particularly for young impressionable minds, it might inject the fear of God of having to wind up in the General Penitentiary (now Tower Street Adult Correctional Centre).

LIVE LIKE ROYALTY

Every time I pass by Vale Royal with its beautiful manicured lawns and elegantly laid-out gardens, with twinkling lights every few yards, I ask myself why not turn this classic residence into an ultra, ultra, all-inclusive for a single family? Add a helicopter pad and a small zoo (Kenny - we'll take your rejects), and a vacation like this will put Jamaica back on the map as the destination of the super-rich and famous.

Footnote: As Scotland could not afford a Beijing or London-like launch for the forthcoming Commonwealth Games, some fast thinker had proposed simultaneously dynamiting a number of abandoned tower blocks, getting the event off literally with a bang. Eventually, this out-of-the-box idea was rejected, but Jamaica should be thinking what useless buildings we could blow up when, for instance, we next host a major event.

Anthony Gambrill is a playwright. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com.