DOCTOR'S ADVICE - Has he had a heart attack during sex?

Q. Good day. I wish to have your advice about a real embarrassing problem, Doctor. Last week, I was having sex with a young woman in Kingston. She was around 30 years younger than me, and a very 'athletic' person. Suddenly, I got a bad pain in my chest. So I had to stop. She wanted me to go straight to a doctor, but I did not want to draw attention to the situation, so I just put on my clothes and went home. I have had no further chest pain. But I am wondering if this was a heart attack that I had?  I am a little reluctant to go to a doctor in my hometown because I do not want to tell him about the woman in Kingston.

A. You do not say how old you are, but as you state that the young woman is 'around 30 years' younger than you, I am guessing that you are in your 50s or 60s. In that age group, any severe chest pain has to be regarded as being a possible indication of a heart attack.

Quite a lot depends on whether you are a smoker. If you are, then the chances of this being a heart attack are considerably greater. But in any case, I feel that you MUST go to a doctor this week. You do not have to tell him about the young lady in the Corporate Area. He will only be interested in the pain and its diagnosis - not in your sex life.

The doctor will test your chest and organise an ECG. As you probably know, that is the electrocardiograph test, which provides a 'tracing' of the electrical activity in the heart. By looking at this tracing, a doctor can get a good idea of whether a person has had a heart attack (a 'coronary') or not.

Please make that medical appointment right away. It could save your life. Finally, I would advise you not to have sex until after you have seen the doctor. Good luck.

Q I am a man in my late 20s, and I would like some advice from you about sex and pregnancy. A couple of weeks ago, my new girlfriend told me she was pregnant. I was surprised by this. Apparently, her last period started in mid-April this year. She admitted to me that she had unprotected sex with her ex-boyfriend at the beginning of May, and he discharged in her. She said that she used a couple of 'emergency contraceptive' tablets after having sex with him for the last time, but she does not recall exactly when she took them. As for me, I remember that I had unprotected sex with her in the middle of May, but I did not ejaculate. However, when I went to the bathroom afterwards, I saw that there had been some 'leakage' of semen.

Now, what I want to know, Doc, is this: Could the baby be mine? Should I at least exercise my rights and ask for a DNA test? Please note that by my calculation, I had sex with her on the day before her menses would have been due, so I suppose that makes it less likely that I am the father. But I am really worried that if this child is mine and I walk away without knowing it, then I could never forgive myself for such a move.

This situation is complicated, and I do not wish to complicate it more by stressing this girl out. I have told her that I will help her by 'holding her hand' throughout all this. Money is not a problem for me to take care of the child and its mother. I really love her, but is staying in the relationship a wise move, Doc?

A. As you say, this is a real complex situation. Summing it up, it seems that:

• The woman had unprotected sex with her previous lover in the middle of her cycle;
  
• She then had unprotected sex with you at the very end of her cycle, but you did not discharge;
  
• Presumably this was the first time you had sex with her, though you did not say so;
  
• She is now around four months pregnant.

If these facts are true, then there is a high probability that her ex-boyfriend is the baby's father. However, there is a slim chance that it was your sperm that caused the conception.

The only way to be sure is to organise DNA tests after the baby is born, which will probably be in January.

It is greatly to your credit that you want to help and look after this young woman. Please bear in mind that it is not always easy to bring up a child whom you suspect to be another man's.

My suggestion is that you and the woman should now go for some helpful counselling together to try to sort out exactly what you are going to do with this relationship. If you Google the words 'Counselling services in Jamaica', you will find a number of organisations which could help you. I wish you both well.

Q. Doctor, is it OK to have sex during the menopause? And could that still make me pregnant?

A. It is perfectly OK to have sex while you are going through the menopause. But bear in mind that quite a few women are still fertile at that time. Indeed, a few ladies actually conceive in the year or two AFTER the menopause. So please take care.

Q I am a guy who is getting married for the first time at the age of 33. I recall that when I was around 17, I had a bout of gonorrhoea or urethritis or something like that. Can I assume that it has completely gone from my body now, Doc? I would not like to cause any danger to my lovely bride.

A. Much depends on whether you were adequately treated when you were 17. If you were given the correct course of antibiotics, then probably you are OK now. However, as you memories of that time of your life are a little vague, I feel you should see a doc and have a check-up. In particular, you should have a test for chlamydia, since that germ has been so very common for the last 20 years or so.

Q My husband was away on business last week, and for some crazy reason I let a male friend of ours give me cunnilingus. He assured me that there was no chance that it could give me any infection. But is that true, Doc?

A. No, it is not. Oral sex can transmit a number of infections, notably chlamydia. My advice is that you should see your doc and ask her to order a chlamydial urine test. What is also very important is to sort out WHY you were 'orally unfaithful' to your husband. I feel you should seek some urgent marriage counselling.

Email questions to editor@gleanerjm.com and read more Doctor's Advice in the Saturday Gleaner.