The 2011 Domino Awards (international version)

by Gordon Robinson

It's time for the third annual Domino Awards. As usual, we'll give out awards on the international scene first. Next week, local winners will be revealed. Remember, these awards are mostly intended to be humorous, so don't bother sending me any pompous emails about how much I've disrespected your personal hero. I don't care.

The (International) Dunce Award: Sarah Palin's impeccable qualifications for this award can't be ignored. Her latest show of chronic ignorance came on a visit to the Old North Church in Boston, which was the focal point of Paul Revere's famous ride. This is what Sarah 'Tall and' Palin, sounding more like a chattering imbecile than a presidential hopeful, had to say about Revere's legendary act of American heroism: "He warned the British that they weren't going to be taking away our arms (by ringing those bells ...)."

The appropriate response to that could only be crafted by a pirate with a parrot on his shoulder: "Aaaarrrggghhh!" This is the same lady who said Martin Luther King Jr's speech after the march on Washington advocated against fundamental change. She said she could see Russia from her home in Alaska. She said ... . Oh for goodness sake, need I say anything more to support this well-deserved award?

Sarah, as The Dunce himself would put it, if a macca, mek it jook yu ... .

The (International) Dunce Move of the Year Award: This year, the award goes posthumously to Muammar Gaddafi for the megalomaniacal act of egregious political stupidity that ensured his own demise.

When the storm of the Arab Spring huffed and puffed at all Arab dictators' citadels, he ought to have seen the writing on the wall. Within days he lost control of Benghazi, as well as most of eastern Libya. Soon, the winds of change blew westwards until thousands of protesters were in the streets of Tripoli itself. Panic took hold of many Gaddafi loyalists, with long-serving officials and military commanders rushing to defect. Gaddafi was at a crossroads. His opportunity to go quietly into exile was then and there.

But that bit of good sense which drives self-preservation eluded the Gaddafi thought process. Instead, Gaddafi killed and injured thousands by turning tanks, artillery and warplanes on civilians. Then, believing that he was living in a bubble, he launched a systematic, multi-pronged counter-offensive to reimpose his will over Tripoli and retake the east.

Verbal abuse

His own citizens were subjected to the worst verbal abuse as "stray dogs, rats, traitors, hypocrites, drug addicts - and agents of al-Qaida". His son, Saif, threatened "rivers of blood" to come if the rebels didn't choose "submission". The alternative promised was "liquidation and war until the last man and the last bullet".

Talk about cock mouth killing cock. The inevitable result was a global excuse handed to NATO on a silver-tongued platter to do what it always wanted to do. With broad Arab backing, NATO forces imposed a no-fly zone over Libya. Their mandate was to protect civilians only, but, before long, they became a de facto instrument of regime change.

Rook to the seventh rank. Bone in Gaddafi's throat.

The inevitable result: Gaddafi is murdered by rebels after being found hiding in a drain pipe. At least Saddam hid in a decently constructed hole in the ground.

Finally, a serious award.

The International Personality of the Year:

This year's award goes to 26-year-old Mohamed Bouazizi, a Tunisian university graduate who, unable to find a steady job, took to selling fruits and vegetables in the street without a permit. Constantly harassed by police, his produce was eventually confiscated and an officer slapped him in front of passers-by. He tried to lodge a complaint, but authorities refused to accept it.

His was a plight sadly symptomatic of Tunisia's endemic problems, including poverty of the countryside, poor job prospects for youths and seething resentment at the government of President Zine El Abidine Ben Ali, who had ruled Tunisia with an iron fist since 1987. Desperate, and with his overqualified efforts to feed his family in tatters, he doused himself with gasolene and set himself on fire in public.

This triggered massive countrywide protests leading to what we all now know as the Arab Spring. Even a jobless, desolate youth at the end of his tether of options can be a world leader. Ride on, Mohamed! Your example is a dire warning to heartless, selfish politicians everywhere.

Here's hoping readers (both of them) have a peaceful and holy Christmas when it comes.

Peace and love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com.