Dear Doc: My cheating wife

Are there lab test for cheating?

Doc, are there any lab tests which can show whether a wife has been cheating on her husband? I think that my wife is being unfaithful to me. And the guy who I suspect as the 'other man' is my brother.

She and I have been married around nine years, and I have a feeling that she is getting a little bored with me, especially as I am away from home a lot because of my job, which is working for the Government. She is a real attractive lady.

My brother has been living at our place for around six months, using it as a base while he finds work in Kingston. He and my wife have always got on real well. And recently I have realised that most days they can spend quite a few hours together in the house. The neighbours would not think there is anything odd about that because they know he is part of my family.

Well, last week I came home feeling quite sexy. I knew that my brother would be out, and I thought this would be a good time to take my wife to bed. I was really looking forward to that.

However, when my wife met me at the front door, she seemed a little flustered, as though she had been busy doing something. But when I kissed her, she did kiss me back, and she was very willing to take her clothes off and get into bed.

Doc, it did strike me that the bed was kind of warm for that time of the afternoon, but I paid that no mind. What really surprised me was that my wife seemed extraordinarily wet, even before we started to have sex.

As you can imagine, this set me thinking, Doc. I really wonder if she had had intercourse with my brother earlier that afternoon. That would explain why the bed was quite warm, and why she was so damp.

What do you think, doctor? From your experience, do you feel it is likely that she has been having sex with him?

Also, next time something like this happens, is there some way that I could discreetly fix up a lab test to find out if she has had sex with him earlier that day? I thought that maybe I could somehow take a vaginal swab, and ask a lab to do DNA tests on it.

That is a most alarming story. This situation is likely to 'blow up' into real trouble unless you are very careful.

My first comment is that it is crazy to leave your brother alone in the house with your attractive wife for hours at a time on most days of the week. That 'set-up' is just inviting them to have sex.

So I am sure that you should now tell your brother to go. He has been in your home long enough, and he must find a place of his own.

Now you ask about DNA testing. Technically, it would indeed be possible to test a woman's vaginal secretions to find out who she had had sex with earlier that day.

But arranging such a test would be real difficult. You would need your wife's consent, and I doubt if she would give that. Also, the cost would be considerable.

Frankly, the best thing you can do at the moment is to get your brother out of your home, and then arrange some good marriage counselling for you and your wife. I wish you both well.

Middle-age sex maniac

Doc, I am puzzled by the fact that my widowed father has suddenly turned into some sort of 'sex maniac'. He is well over 60, and until recently we thought he was pretty frail, and might not last long. He has Parkinson's disease.

But last summer, he suddenly got a new lease of life. He seemed to have much more energy, and he surprised us all by going out and putting a lot of bets on horses. Most of them lost.

But the really worrying thing is that he seems to have taken up sex again in a big way. He started by going down to Kingston every Saturday night, and hiring a lady of the night. Then I came home one afternoon and found him in bed with our next-door neighbour, who is a lady 30 years younger than him.

Finally, he now acquired two girlfriends, both of whom are in their 20s. I don't know whether he is giving them money, but he is definitely having some sort of sex with them most days of the week.

This is distressing for us all. And it seems a real strange way for a man of his age to behave. What is going on?

Well, I think the clue to this problem lies in your comment that he has Parkinson's disease. That is a common brain disorder, which causes shaking of the arms and the head.

It can be treated with medication.

Unfortunately, some of the newer anti-Parkinson's drugs, notably one called Requip (also known as ropinirole), have an unfortunate side effect. They cause odd, impulsive behaviour. Most often, the result is a sudden desire to gamble or a wild urge to have sex.

I have no wish to interfere with this old gentleman's happiness, but I think you should ask him to accompany you to his doctor, explain the situation to the doc, and ask her if she can reduce the dose - or maybe switch your father to a next anti-Parkinson's drug.

I am thinking of taking that female sterilisation operation, Doc. But does it affect a woman's sex life? Will it take away my desire for my boyfriend?

The sterilisation 'op' simply involves cutting through the two tubes which carry the eggs from the ovaries to the womb.

It has no affect on sexual desire. And it will not affect your love life, except that you will have to take things easy for a weeks after the operation until everything has healed up. Be advised by your gyno.

My erections have not been too good in recent years, so my doc put me on Viagra. But the effect of that did not last long enough, So now he wants me to take something called Cialis, which I understand lasts longer.

But does it have any bad side effects, doctor?

Cialis does last a lot longer than Viagra, so very often it can work for a whole day. It has much the same side effects as Viagra, but it can also causes muscle pains and backache.

These problems are not common, but if they occur you should let your doc know.

My menses have 'stopped dead' at the age of 31. My doctor says it is due to the emotional shock of my mother dying.

Is this possible?

Yes, periods can be stopped by emotional shocks. But there can be other causes, so I think you should have some tests, particularly for anaemia.

Heightened sex drive

Doc, I am puzzled by the fact that my widowed father has suddenly turned into some sort of 'sex maniac'. He is well over 60, and until recently we thought he was pretty frail, and might not last long. He has Parkinson's disease.

But last summer, he suddenly got a new lease of life. He seemed to have much more energy, and he surprised us all by going out and putting a lot of bets on horses. Most of them lost.

But the really worrying thing is that he seems to have taken up sex again in a big way. He started by going down to Kingston every Saturday night, and hiring a lady of the night. Then I came home one afternoon and found him in bed with our next-door neighbour, who is a lady 30 years younger than him.

Finally, he now acquired two girlfriends, both of whom are in their 20s. I don't know whether he is giving them money, but he is definitely having some sort of sex with them most days of the week.

This is distressing for us all. And it seems a real strange way for a man of his age to behave. What is going on?

Well, I think the clue to this problem lies in your comment that he has Parkinson's disease. That is a common brain disorder, which causes shaking of the arms and the head.

It can be treated with medication.

Unfortunately, some of the newer anti-Parkinson's drugs, notably one called Requip (also known as ropinirole), have an unfortunate side effect. They cause odd, impulsive behaviour. Most often, the result is a sudden desire to gamble or a wild urge to have sex.

I have no wish to interfere with this old gentleman's happiness, but I think you should ask him to accompany you to his doctor, explain the situation to the doc, and ask her if she can reduce the dose - or maybe switch your father to another anti-Parkinson's drug.

I am thinking of taking that female sterilisation operation, Doc. But does it affect a woman's sex life? Will it take away my desire for my boyfriend?

The sterilisation 'op' simply involves cutting through the two tubes which carry the eggs from the ovaries to the womb.

It has no affect on sexual desire. And it will not affect your love life, except that you will have to take things easy for a few weeks after the operation until everything has healed up. Be advised by your gyno.

My erections have not been too good in recent years, so my doc put me on Viagra. But the effect of that did not last long enough, So now he wants me to take something called Cialis, which I understand lasts longer.

But does it have any bad side effects, doctor?

Cialis does last a lot longer than Viagra, so very often it can work for a whole day. It has much the same side effects as Viagra, but it can also cause muscle pains and backache.

These problems are not common, but if they occur you should let your doc know.

My menses have 'stopped dead' at the age of 31. My doctor says it is due to the emotional shock of my mother dying.

Is this possible?

Yes, periods can be stopped by emotional shocks. But there can be other causes, so I think you should have some tests, particularly for anaemia.