Who God has united ...

It seems to me people tend to take this divorce thingy much too seriously. For example, have you noticed how many lawyers make a healthy living from marital break-ups? So much so it could send shivers up one's timbers. In fact, if you follow the Bible on this subject as literally as fire-breathing pastors seem obsessed with doing as it relates to male homosexuality, you'd nominate divorce a standout candidate for religion's favourite insult: 'unnatural'.

Take Romans 7:2-3, for example:

For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he's living; but if her husband dies, she's released from the law concerning the husband. So then if, while her husband is living, she's joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she's free from the law, so that she's not an adulteress, though she's joined to another man.

So, married women are 'bound' to their husbands for life regardless of whether he repeatedly abuses her or forces her to involuntarily share bodily fluids with his many concubines (male or female). Isn't it amazing how, for a book so often used to condemn 'unnatural' acts, the Bible seems to have been written consistently without taking human nature into account?

Two broken hearts lonely looking like

houses

where nobody lives.

Two people each having so much pride

inside

neither side forgives.

Despite Christianity's declared distaste for divorce, it has become a significant contributor to GDP. When a formerly happy marriage appears on the rocks, lawyers, judges, psychiatrists, children advocates and all sorts of earnest do-gooders leap out of the woodwork to profit from the unhappy couple. None of these persons, least of all the courts, were around at the wedding and none will attend either of the couple's funerals, but everybody wants a piece of the crumbling cookie.

Christian hypocrisy on this subject is never clearer than in Matthew 5:31-32:

And it was said, 'Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce'; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the cause of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

an exception

So, an exception is made for an unchaste woman who may be cast off. But, an unchaste man? Ever wonder why pastors get their knickers in a twist when homosexuals breach 'God's law' to the extent of threatening governments and marching in the streets, yet divorces are bought and paid for daily, while lawyers profit and pastors say nothing? Holy contradiction, Batman!

Muslims are more pragmatic. If a Muslim man wants a divorce, he need only stand in a public place and say "I divorce you" three times. It's over. She gets custody of the marital problems (read 'children'); he gets all the assets. No cash to any legal middleman. No judge who has never once visited the home or met any of the family deciding who should look after the children and how. No alimony which can sometimes encourage divorced ladies to live in 'sin' for years in order to protect that particular income flow.

The angry words spoken in haste,

such a waste of two lives,

It's my belief pride is the chief cause of the decline

in the number of husbands and wives.

Of course, no religion's holy book allows for a wife to divorce her husband regardless of his rascality levels. Apart from being somewhat discriminatory, this could lead to antisocial behaviour. Wives will find ways around any unfair restriction.

Take the story of a wife out hiking with her husband in the wilds of Canada. Suddenly, a huge grizzly bear charged at them from out of nowhere. Now, it's unusual for grizzlies to attack humans without provocation, so it must have been that one or both of the couple had inadvertently appeared to threaten her cubs because the bear was extremely aggressive. If the wife hadn't her little Beretta Jetfire handy, she wouldn't be around to tell the tale!

It took just one shot to her husband's kneecap to solve multiple problems.

The bear got him and she was able to escape by walking away at a brisk pace. That little Beretta remains one of her favourites in her collection.

A woman and a man, a man and a woman;

some can and some can't.

And some can't.

More great lyrics from Roger King of the Road Miller put divorce into perspective.

Peace and love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com.