Gordon Robinson | The essence of misdirection

It’s time for another visit to favourite fantasyland, Apocrypha, where all politicians are friends and Oma D’unn solves political dilemmas by parable.

Regular readers remember Oma, a former finance minister, who, like a moon, is bright only in the dark but supplements his retirement pension with fees from his consultancy firm named Oma Unsacked. On this our latest visit, Apocryphan Transport Minister Darelaw Vase is seen consulting Oma on a dilemma caused by Government’s belated permission for a huge fare increase to private public transport operators which caused public discontent in the lead up to general elections.

“We shoulda give di award sooner” Darelaw admitted to Oma “But it can’t wait any longer and it’s costing us political capital. Wha’ mi fi do?”

Oma told Darelaw to buy a parrot. Darelaw was puzzled so Oma told him the story of the Cruise Ship Magician:

“A magician on a cruise ship is doing magic for a particularly rough crowd. There’s a man in the audience with a parrot in his shoulder giving away all the tricks.

Every time the magician does a card trick the bird screamed ‘Its up his sleeve.’ Every time the magician made something disappear the bird screamed ‘Simple misdirection.’ Every time the magician made a prediction and it was right the bird screamed ‘He led the audience to the answers with leading questions.’

Finally the magician gets so fed up with this trifling bird that he decides to blow up the ship. He sets all the dynamite up; detonates it; and the ship is destroyed from the floor up.

After all is said and done the parrot and the magician are floating on a door -a Titanic-esque scene. Neither one of them says a word for what seems like hours until the bird says ‘alright. I give up... Where’s the ship?’”

Darelaw is puzzled so Oma explains that the parrot would teach him the secrets, methods and benefits of misdirection. Oma advised Darelaw he needed to direct voters’ attention away from the fare increase to something that appears to have palliative effect but is really an illusion. “Magicians do it all the time” Oma told Darelaw “and only little birdies in the know will see what’s really going on.”

Back home on the Rock, it seemed Jamaica’s Transport Minister was taking advice from Oma because he recently announced a fare reduction for JUTC customers to counter-act a previously announced 35% fare increase for private transport operators. But the announced “relief” was expressed to be “temporary”. What the Granny gungus natty? Is this a vote-buying ploy to be removed as soon as election victory is secured?

One of Government’s primary responsibilities is to provide subsidized public transport. Temporary fare relief doesn’t begin to discharge that fundamental obligation. If only citizens were educated in civics, including governance, they would immediately see through this magic act. Citizens pay taxes so they won’t have to pay for national security nor commercial rates for public health; public education; or public transport. Successive governments have contemptuously ignored its duty to transport all citizens and to provide free dedicated school buses island wide. Instead a grossly under-funded, government owned urban transport corporation is allowed to be used as a feeding tree to supply hoodlums with free petrol and spare parts while offering an unreliable, uncomfortable, uninspired service to corporate area and St. Catherine passengers only.

Then huge amounts of borrowed money are spent on massive highway projects that look impressive from overhead photos and provide opportunities for political propaganda at openings but which take forever to be “completed.” On “completion”, numerous defects still need to be rectified. Don’t get me started on the St Thomas to Portland low-way that has tortured residents and commuters for years. If it’s ever finished, there still won’t be a system of publicly funded transportation to carry Jamaicans on it.

So this bus fare reduction is worse than a vote buying ploy. It’s a vote buying gimmick designed to trick voters into believing they’ve been granted relief when only JUTC passengers (less than 10 per cent of islandwide travelling public) qualify. Even the minority who qualify must accept inconvenience and inconsistency in return. As soon as election victory is secured the fares will go up again. Service will not do likewise.

Peace and Love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com