Letter of the Day | Be a support system this holiday season

THE EDITOR, Madam:

‘Tis the season to give and receive, right? The holiday season is often seen by some of us as a blessing, a burden and a curse. The gathering of family and friends, the giving of gifts to all, demands much from us. Perhaps you can be that charitable person capable of uplifting the mental as well as spiritual attitudes of others. That would be a excellent gift, right? And, who deserves it more than those you know who are nice, resourceful and charitable. Yes, everyone from your grandparents, your neighbours, to the essential service worker, the fire and emergency workers and yes, even the local cops. Everyone who has assisted you, care for you, and share with you their wealth and experience with a helping hand.

Did you know that more attempts at ending one’s life or suicides happen during the holidays than at any other time of the year? People are alone, isolated, scared, and believe they are ignored by the rest of their world. You can have a family participate in it fully and yet feel very much alone. People need the attention of others, to be hugged, spoken to and included in all social events. This is a personal but important necessity for the development and maintenance of a person’s mental faculties. Why does it happen to these special people who give of themselves and demand nothing in return?

Most importantly, they prioritise other people’s needs over their own. Service to others, for God and a religious/secular organisation that helps others. It does not matter why they give. The fact is that the act of giving is extremely demanding upon someone’s emotional, spiritual and mental faculties.

People often assume they are fine. Often, those who give of themselves separate themselves from others. Such isolation can be very difficult to deal with and can create many mental health complications.

They attract people who make more than they give to others. While they give, others take like a sponge. Have you ever met someone who will seemingly drain you of your emotional, physical and social energy? A vampire that sucks all their enthusiasm out of them? They struggle to set boundaries for themselves. Such people are often control freaks who work to serve others but put no limits upon themselves. With no boundaries, such people can burn out very quickly. Vulnerability is a difficult concept for them, so they set up boundaries that do not apply to themselves but only their clients.

They avoid conflict even if those ready to rock and roll in the conflict zone are ready to rumble. Conflict of any kind is set aside and away from their set purpose in life, to serve others. They do not feel the need to burden others with their own inner conflicts. Their purpose is to help others unburden themselves. They listen far more than they will share of themselves.

Because these angels of mercy try to show they are in control and ready to assist anyone at any time one seems to check on them. Isolation can surround such individuals and, in fact, such attitudes attract those with the same symptoms. Addicts are attracted to addicts just as those with bipolar conditions are attracted to the same type of individuals.

Share your holiday season with someone who may be in need of assistance and they do not recognise this need. You must be agents of good.

STEVEN KASZAB

Bradford, Ontario

skaszab@yahoo.ca