Hello Mi Neighbour | In overcoming betrayal ... no need to hide pain

Hello, mi neighbour! Friendship may be seen as the strongest form of relationship among human beings. It is characterised by mutual affection, love, trust, comfort and respect. It's that relationship in which many deep secrets are shared and guarded. Much resources - time, energy, cash and sacrifices - are usually invested in this type of relationship, which often lasts for a lifetime. And this is the kind of relationship which a marriage can count on for its longevity: a marriage bereft of friendship between wife and husband quickly dies. So, what do you do when, for known or unknown reasons, a trusted friend betrays you?

The pain of having a trusted friend in whom you confide much, betraying you, hurts deeply. Sadly, in the real world there is always the potential for friends to betray friends. This is usually such a devastating experience which can throw one into a medical, emotional or mental crisis - can even lead to death. Remember Jesus and Judas in the Easter story? Let's always remember that "is not everyt'ing good fi eat good fi talk" as we enjoy our friendships.

Oftentimes, one's first reaction to a friend's betrayal is anger, disappointment, disbelief and condemnation of self and the other party. I may be inclined to beat up on myself for choosing such a 'Judas' as a friend when all the signs of a betrayer were staring at me. How could "I be so foolish?" I may ask. Shouldn't I have picked up the cues from this friend's constant backbiting and criticising of her other friends? Well, we live and we learn - should learn, is more like it. Some don't learn. But life must go on.

Overcoming a betrayal means not allowing your emotions to get the better of you. Manage them. It's normal to be upset, no need to hide your pain. Forgive yourself for taking a chance on the friendship that led to the betrayal. After all, no one is perfect, and this is a common occurrence in our world every day. So, don't entertain urges to get revenge or hold grudges. This might be too much a burden for your heart, which is already so frail. Keep in mind that you can't control what other people do or say about you, however angry and nasty they may cause you to become.

The things people say about us are either true or false. If these things are true and wrong, let's take responsibility and apologise and ask for forgiveness, if that is what is required. If the accusations are false, all the merrier. You just continue with your life of integrity and see who will be embarrassed in the end.

Of all the privileges bestowed on mankind, friendship is among the best. Everyone needs at least one friend, and he or she has the responsibility to keep this friendship healthy and durable while recognising that we are all fallible. Therefore, some secrets must be kept between you, yourself and your maker.

Make friends with someone from list below and lend a helping hand. Thanks.

 

THANKS FOR HELPING

 

1. Neighbour, donating a bed.

2. Mr Grant, St Mary, offering a bed.

3. Rema, St Andrew, for donation.

4. Shena, St Andrew, for donation of food to neighbour in St Catherine.

5. Karlene, St Andrew, for donation.

 

OPPORTUNITIES

 

 

TO HELP

 

- Neighbour - No money to purchase food and send children to school. Needs your help.

- Staci-Ann, St Catherine - Facing a serious accommodation crisis. Needs a little piece of land to lease.

- Neighbour, St Elizabeth - Unemployed mother of two needs food for children.

- Elaine, Kingston - Asking neighbours for a stove.

- Neighbour, St James - Asking for a bed and a dresser.

- Esther, St Ann - Unemployed, asking for assistance to purchase cabbage seeds to help generate an income.

- Mr Johnson, St Elizabeth - Asking for a mattress.

To help, please call Silton Townsend @ 334-8165, 884-3866, or deposit to acct # 351 044 276 NCB. (Bank routing #: JNCBJMKX) or send donations to HELLO NEIGHBOUR c/o 53 Half-Way Tree Road, Kingston 10; Paypal/credit card: email: zicron22@yahoo.com. Or contact email helloneighbour@yahoo.com.8 Mr Townsend exclusively manages the collections and distributions mentioned in this column and is neither an employee nor agent of The Gleaner.