Dwight Fletcher | YOLO - Relational life - Part I

Over the past few weeks, we have been examining areas of our lives that we tend to be very laissez faire about, that is, applying the 'you only live once' (YOLO) principle and contrasting that to how God intends to lead us to live rich and satisfying lives. Last week, we wrapped up our focus on our health and, we continue today by looking at the area of relationships.

Relationships have the potential to be the most rewarding area of our lives, if we treat them with care. Treating our relationships with care means that we won't take them lightly or be YOLO with them. A common YOLO attitude to relationships is saying 'we don't need friends, friends are trouble or 'as soon as dem slip dem slide'.

The truth is, relationships require hard work. Noted Christian leader and author, Rick Warren says, "The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now." The Bible tells us to "Work hard at living in peace with others" 1 Peter 3:11b NLT. We are told to work hard at living in peace with others because there is nothing more important that we can invest our lives in, than in other people. The legacy we leave behind will not be determined by our career or the wealth we accumulated, but by the relationships we developed with the people around us.

Unfortunately, we tend to get it backwards. We focus on working hard at our careers and accumulating wealth but give our relationships the leftovers. We think that we can get by with doing that, but we cannot.

Getting relationally healthy requires that we make three important connections with the people in our life. Let's explore the first one.

Our most important relationships are always the easiest for us to damage and the most difficult for us to repair. Interestingly, the most important people to us are often the ones we treat the most YOLO - our brothers and sisters and husbands and wives.

To make our relationships the best they can be, here are three relational habits we need to practise.

 

a. Be Patient

 

Patience is a fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5. When we become followers of Jesus Christ, one of the things that He supernaturally begins to develop in our life is patience with other people. Make the effort to practise patience today. Be patient when your spouse is late, be patient when your children don't catch on quickly to learning something new, be patient when a parent or a sibling continues to annoy you.

 

b. Be Forgiving

 

Some of us are really good at holding grudges and keeping score. We don't like to let go of perceived hurts or offences. But, unforgiveness is devastating when it comes to dealing with people. It is like a self-inflicted wound. Refusing to forgive also creates a blockage in our relationship with God. In Matthew 6, Jesus stated "If you forgive those who sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins".

When we release someone and forgive them, we are freeing ourselves for God's blessings and for forgiveness to come into our life. Is there someone you are holding a grudge against or have been unwilling to let go? Make the decision to forgive today.

 

c. Be Positive

 

When we are positive and we point out the good things, people will change their behaviour for the better. One of the biggest roadblocks to successful relationships is being negative. If we are always pointing out the negative things in our spouse, our friends, our co-workers, then we are sabotaging these relationships. The Bible tells us in Ephesians 4:29 to "Let everything you say be good and helpful so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them". When we are positive, it sets the relationship on a good foundation so that when we have something corrective to share, the person can hear it more easily because we have been positive. Make it a practise to say something positive to those around you.

This week, consider the ways in which you can work hard at living in peace with the people who are most important to you. Practise being patient with others and forgive them when they have wronged you. Take the time every day this week to point out something positive about your spouse, child, parent, sibling, or those around you, especially those most important to you.

Join us again next week, as we continue to look at other important connections we can make with the people in our lives to create healthy relationships.