Clinton Chisholm | Understanding and dealing with clergy sexual abuse (Part II)
Published:Sunday | August 11, 2019 | 12:00 AM
Just a few pointers here:
1. Honest self-awareness is necessary
So if you find yourself admiring minors (boys and/or girls) and every now and then you even have an erection while admiring any of them, you need clinical help!
May I throw in a statement here for us all to ponder?
The frequency with which a [married] person lusts is an index of his/her IQ – not intelligence quotient, but infidelity quotient.
Never assume you are stronger than you really are. I said in a sermon in Florida where our daughter and her husband were present that I have not committed the sins of other men, not because I lack their strong desire for immorality but maybe I just lack their opportunity, but if opportunity meets desire, I would be dead meat like anybody else!
My daughter said after the sermon, “Papi, that was the most honest and boldest sermon I have heard in a long while.”
Friends, I struggle, too (and thank God for friends like Drs Barry Davidson, Joan Pinkney and Neal Walker especially, from whom I can get loving but firm guidance), but I try to be as honest as I can with myself and readily ask very close friends to pray for/with me whenever I sense a weakening in resolve re purity. Seriously, so one of my favourite hymns of reality therapy is ‘Prone to wander, Lord I feel it…’
As Dr Pinkney urges: “A course in human sexuality and therapy sessions should form part of any training for clergy to unearth sexual fantasies, effects of childhood sexual/other types of abuse, self-esteem/self-concept/esteem issues, sexual orientation issues (in keeping with biblical principles), dealing with suppressed sexual energy (in keeping with the call to celibacy/purity and pastoral ministry), exercising self-control, etc.”
3. Redemptive therapeutic options for those who are in need via disclosure or diagnosis/detection/discernment
Dr Pinkney once again: “Once sexual abuse is made public, restoration to public service may be difficult in our culture for the offender, as the laity and society may not see them capable to carry out the Lord’s work. The offence carries a stigma which may be the closest one gets to the unpardonable sin (by humans). Our culture does not tolerate homosexuality at any level – therein lies another challenge. However, systems should be in place in the church for redemption and restoration. This must be ongoing and handled by appropriately trained personnel in the field of counseling/ psychology/psychiatry.”
But bearing in mind the separate domains of the immoral and the illegal, clergy who sexually abuse minors ought to be reported to the police and not simply left untouched or moved to another church/parish/circuit. Church folk may forgive the [repentant] fallen (on the moral plane) but dare not assume authority within the legal plane.
This is tough love to protect both the victim(s), potential victims and the guilty. Sexual proclivities of whatever kind are almost addictive, so a repeated sexual abuse is not just possible but probable, even likely.
4. Effective accountability systems/partners should be required in all denominations and independent churches.
These would need the input of highly trained therapists, including Christian sexologists.
Clinical psychologist, Dr the Rev Neal Walker, my Jamaica Theological Seminary (JTS) batchmate, says: “In general, we don’t have an effective system in place to evaluate our clergy. We go to Bible college or seminary. We graduate with honours, with advanced degrees. We are thrown into the pastorate or into other leadership positions. We may hold denominational conventions and conferences, but very, very few of us ever completed a course (ONE COURSE) in Gender and Sexuality. But even worse, very few ministers receive any kind of treatment or one-on-one session with a trained professional therapist. Very few!”
He continues: “I have argued in presentations that pastoring (legitimate pastoring) is the hardest job on earth. Forget the 30 mega churches we know about … the run-of-the-mill pastor is a sufferer. He (or she) has few friends, hardly shares his/her heart, struggles to avoid cussing out people who call themselves elders and deacons (and I mean using the F bomb), receives no good pay and fewer thank yous, struggles with porn, hides any sins committed and acts like he/she is enjoying pastoring. I deal daily with the dark side of human life, but my 20 years of pastoring were the most challenging years of my life.
“Every clergy should avail himself/herself (men in particular) to one solid full year of couch sessions. I did and am happy my clinical program demanded it. If we cannot afford to seek professional services, find a seasoned person who could hear you out.
“We (clergy) all need a safe harbor where we could unpack ourselves.”
Friends, I leave it there and open now for your questions and comments.
- Rev Clinton Chisholm is academic dean at the Caribbean Graduate School of Theology. Email feedback to editorial@gleanerjm.com