What does it really mean to submit to your husband?

 

So hold on to me tight

Hold on to me tonight

We are stronger here together

Than we could ever be alone

So hold on to me

Don’t you ever let me go

– Michael Buble, Hold On

 

The Bible encourages wives to be submissive to their husbands. They refer to husbands as being the head of the household, calling for wives to give due respect.

In today’s world, women are now taking up that mantle. They earn more money. Many are taking charge of many things in the home, things that husbands should be doing. In light of this, many wives wonder why they should submit.

For answers, Family and Religion reached out to Rev Garry Knowles of the Toll Gate Circuit of Baptist Churches, who said he has been blessed to witness his parents’ marriage for all of his life.

According to Knowles, they have been married for more than 50 years, working together, while at the same time serving each other. He said that there has never been a time when he saw one dominating the other and that there was has always been mutual respect.

“Do I believe that this kind of marriage is a thing of the past? No! That is why I try to put some of their qualities into my own marriage. This is also the thought behind Paul’s writing in Ephesians 5:22–33. Even though it was written in a culture of patriarchy, Paul’s intent was about mutual ‘submission’ and unity in marriage,” Knowles explained.

He pointed out that it is common in our day to dismiss what Paul says in Ephesians 5 because he doesn’t agree with modern ideas of political correctness and feminism.

Knowles said that Paul lived in a day when Christianity was just seeking to become established in the Mediterranean world. He opined that if Paul had encouraged the women to exercise their freedom and the slaves to rebel against their masters, the vital truths of Christianity would have been eclipsed by social and political issues, and the new faith would have been utterly crushed.

Revolutionary words

“If you’ve studied history, you would’ve learned that you must judge a person’s actions by the standards of the society in which he or she lived, not by modern standards, which change every few years. Don’t discount Paul because he lived in a patriarchal society that condoned slavery. If you take the time to see what he is saying, you’ll come to realise that his words are indeed revolutionary. In his careful Christian teaching are the seeds of true equality,” Knowles said.

Knowles said that Paul links submission with respect (Eph 5:22, 33b), explaining that submission and respect are somehow connected.

He shared that while submission often involves obedience, it is not quite the same as obedience.

It is important to note, Knowles said, that submission has nothing to do with the inherent worth or value of an individual. He also pointed out that Paul teaches equal value and standing before God: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ.” (Galatians 3:28).

In further explanation, Knowles said the reason given for a wife to submit to her husband is that he is “the head of the wife as Christ is of the Church” (vs 23).

Paul links “the husband is the head of the wife” with a verse that goes back to Genesis 2: “For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Eph. 5:23, 31, cf. 33a). Many people read the word ‘head’ and interpret it metaphorically as ‘leader’ or ‘authority’ he said.

Knowles said that Paul’s real purpose for that using the head-body metaphor is to imply unity, noting that Paul writes about the unity between Jesus Christ and the Church and uses this example to encourage husbands to love their wives.

He said our culture has largely forgotten unity and mutual submission in marriages, and marriages are suffering for it. He said each partner’s rights, freedoms, and self-identity have been emphasised so much that the couple’s essential unity and oneness have been underemphasised.

“When we marry, we are charting a single course together. We are not going our separate ways while living together for economic convenience and sexual pleasure. We are one, whether we understand it or not. And actions that erode that essential unity work against our marriages,” Knowles shared.