HELLO MI NEIGHBOUR | Channel anger triggers for good outcomes

Hello mi neighbour! If this article could help to cool a hothead, quell a quarrel or tame a temper in this country this week, it would have served a worthy cause and worth every resource expended on writing and publishing it. Please pause immediately and meditate on these words for a few minutes: a soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger. How did that feel? Sobering or…?

Anger is one of man’s biggest problems, and the inability to manage it is even bigger. Si di problem? Of all human emotions, anger can be pretty much the ugliest. And when it is ugly, it is really ugly! Can transform the most charming beauty into the ugliest ‘mug’. No disrespect.

Listen neighbours, uncontrolled anger will nullify your ability to think and behave rationally. Those who ignore their anger, do so to their own peril! This very powerful and destructive emotion which manifests itself in rage, resentment, hatred and hostility, if allowed to persist, will lead to intense personal suffering and harm to those closest to us, et al.

People become angry for various reasons and express it in different ways. The chronically angry person will explode if a ‘pin’ drops. Others (like my mother) will say “Oh shoots!” when the hammer misses the concrete nail and hits the finger.

Anger control is highly possible, but the process in getting there can be painful. Hang in there, you’ll be glad you did. Anger control involves recognising anger whenever it knocks, becoming aware of anger triggers, and then develop strategies to channel this emotion for good outcomes.

Anger may be triggered by external forces like:

ü Physical or financial threats.

ü Verbal or physical assaults.

ü Being disrespected in the presence of others.

ü Frustration caused by governments or other authorities.

ü Getting involved in a strong religious debate.

ü Being taken for a ride – ‘tek man fi eediot’.

ü Having to wait in a long line, be it the bank or traffic, especially when in a hurry, etc.

Anger may also be caused by internal triggers like sleeplessness, hunger, anxiety, depression, loneliness, sickness, lack of intimacy, and so on.

Yes, all those situations, and more, may trigger anger to a degree, but to really see anger boil to volcanic levels, add some grievous words to them. Waiting in a long bank line may trigger mild anger, but when the bank worker uses grievous words like “If you cannot wait you should take your patronage elsewhere,” that is clearly asking for big trouble. Contrast those grievous words with kind words (spoken with all sincerity), like “We appreciate your business and are trying to meet your expectations. Thank you for your patience. Your patronage is much appreciated, and we look forward to continuing our successful relationship.” While that may not be the strongest pacifier under the circumstances, it certainly will not work as an anger infuser.

As you consider the foregoing, remember the adage: think before you speak! In the heat of the moment, loose words could cause a lifetime of regrets. Happens all the time. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything if you are in a bad mood. All parties should do the same. As soon as you are collected, calmly express your frustration in a friendly, assertive manner. And remember, a non-confrontational posture wins the day. Your aim is not to control, but to be in control – of you.

Wanna really be in control? Let this be your watchword: a soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.

I close with the hope that these words will help to cool a hothead, quell a quarrel, and tame a temper in this country this week.

HELP A NEIGHBOUR

Please help a neighbour with one of the following this week: stove, bed, mattress, building materials, sewing machine, table, chairs, second-hand settee, etc.

To help, please call Silton Townsend @ 876 649-9636, or deposit in acct # 351 044 276 NCB. Alternatively, send donations to HELLO NEIGHBOUR c/o 53 Half-Way Tree Road, Kingston 10; Paypal/credit card: email: zicron22@yahoo.com. Contact email: helloneighbour@yahoo.com. Visit hellomineighbourja.blogspot.com. Townsend exclusively manages the collections and distributions mentioned in this column and is neither an employee nor agent of The Gleaner.