Hello Mi Neighbour | How to cultivate true love

This article is especially for the young and inexperienced as it relates to the man and woman story.

It pays to LOVE!

LOVE is patient,

LOVE is kind!

LOVE pays high dividends all the time.

Those who LOVE, always make an effort to speak kind words!

Those who don’t, speak unkind word effortlessly. If you say you love someone yet speak unkind words to them, without any effort (even to your worst enemy), it makes you an enemy of LOVE.

Being in love with someone and loving that same someone are not one and the same. Let’s unpack this: a man sees a physically attractive woman and immediately feels a strong physical and emotional attraction towards her.

At his first opportunity, he tells her that he loves her and proposes marriage. As time passes, despite the little disagreements here and there, the bond grows stronger and stronger! After all, she is still very physically attractive and should really make a good wife.

Without being transitioned from falling in love to truly loving, the deal is sealed with ring and thing. Six weeks into the marriage, the ring-ding begins. The disrespect, the abuse, the misunderstanding, and the fights, the unkindness take their toll on the newlyweds and there “endeth the lesson”.

What’s the lesson here? Falling in love and loving are NOT one and the same. If you fall in love with someone at first sight, that’s not an indication that you should start singing “here comes the bride/groom”.

With all the infatuation, and a strong desire for closeness which can be all-consuming and overwhelming, don’t rush it. If you don’t truly love, however promising the prospect might appear, you are biting off far more than you can chew. True!

Whenever we truly love someone, there is strong sense of care, concern, and affection. There is a deep willingness to prioritise the other person’s well-being and happiness. With mental, spiritual, emotional and physical readiness for the long-term, the future is settled on a solid foundation where the couple feels safe. Yes, the storms will blow, but the structure will not bow.

Two differences are here posited between being in love and loving/been loved:

1. Being in love can be intense and passionate, while loving someone is a more stable and enduring commitment.

2. Being in love often focuses on the romantic and physical aspects, while loving someone encompasses a broader range of emotions and commitments. And I must here say that the intense passion, the romantic feeling and the physical attraction are doubled in a marriage nestled in true love.

And I now leave you with some borrowed tips on how to cultivate true love and enduring passion as you prepare to share your live with the one you love!

· Understand your values, emotions, and needs.

· Cultivate self-acceptance and self-compassion.

· Practise open, honest, and empathetic communication.

· Foster trust through reliability and consistency.

· Encourage and support each other’s growth.

· Practise understanding and validating each other’s feelings.

· Recognise and manage your own emotions.

· Learn to navigate conflicts constructively.

· Spend meaningful time together.

· Engage in activities you both enjoy.

· Build a shared history.

· Be willing to adapt and grow together.

Then to top it off, I encourage you to read and mediate on the following passage night and day: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Practise forgiveness 24 x 7 and you won’t be far from heaven!

“True love is a journey, not a destination. Focus on building a strong foundation, and the relationship will flourish.”

PLEASE ASSIST A NEIGHBOUR WITH ITEMS FROM LIST BELOW

1. Food, building materials, accommodation, cash to start a small business etc.

To help, please call Silton Townsend @ 876 649-9636 or 876 884-3866. Email: helloneighbour@yahoo.com. Visit hellomineighbourja.blogspot.com. Townsend exclusively manages the collections and distributions mentioned in this column and is neither an employee nor agent of The Gleaner.