'They are my blessing'

Mel Cooke, Gleaner Writer

Patricia Christie does not have to go very far to see Daneille and Damari, two of her three grandchildren. All she has to do is cross the road in Oaklawn, Barbican, St Andrew, to where the sister and brother live, or answer her door when they come knocking - which happens often. And the youngest, Jhae-Ann, who is one year old heading to two, puts in a regular mid-week appearance, as well as on weekends.

"I feel very pleased. They are a blessing to me. They make me smile every day," Christie tells The Sunday Gleaner. "Right now, one is riding my back."

Nice times

The 'rider' is three-year-old Damari, who keeps his grandmother on the run - literally. "He always wants me to come and play ball with him. Him kick to me, I kick to him. We have nice times, lovely times together," she says. He is not the only one who has her doing the physical part of 'grandmahood', as, in addition to watching television together, Christie says, "we play. They will have me on the bed and have me jump up and down with them. They have me running up and down at the side of the lawn".

Daneille, Damari and Jhae-Ann do not play with 'grandma', though. They play with 'Aunty Hopie', a name which Daneille (now 14 years old) gave her. "She said I was too young to be called grandma, so she started calling me Aunty Hopie. The others just catch on," Christie explains. "My pet name is Hopie. Nobody really knows Patricia."

Now 55 years old, Aunty Hopie replies "Yeah man! Sure! Sure!" when The Sunday Gleaner asks if being a grandparent is better than being a parent. "I did not enjoy the children so much as the grandchildren. But if I did not have the children, I would not have the grandchildren," she says. The three are her daughters' children.

But the playful Aunty Hopie can be a tough cookie too, as "when they are rude, they are disciplined. They get slaps. The big one (Daneille) now, I talk to her real hard". And she talks back, not 'hard', but confides in her Aunty Hopie.

Aunty Hopie's standout memory of Daneille is when she was attending St Cecilia Prep "and she did this song. I was so proud of her. It was a Christmas song and she was the lead singer. It was so beautiful. I can never forget that moment".

Damari gives her many memorable moments as well. According to Christie, he "always have me up and down the place". And Aunty Hopie has a mental picture of Jhae-Ann "watching her favourite thing, Dora, and giving me the eye. When you talk to her, she gives me that look".

Mother's day gift

Chances are today Daneille will give her a different kind of eye as she hands over a Mother's Day present, which she has been doing for about three years. Last year's gift was a picture frame - which Aunty Hopie promptly used for a picture of Daneille and Damari.

Christie says grandmothers "can never be outdated. The whole moral of the society is gone, and if the grandmothers don't find the balance of the thing, stand up strong, the whole thing disappear. They grow up thinking you and them are size. You have to be there to continue the trend we got from our grandparents. We learn from them". And she does prefer being called 'Aunty Hopie', as "I look too young to be called granma".

However, she is not yearning to be called Aunty Hopie by anyone else, satisfied with Daneille, Damari and Jhae-Ann. "If it happens, fine, but I think three is enough".

She advises grandparents "just to give their grandchildren all of the love they can give them. Support them in any way they can support them. Do not lose the discipline of going to church and talking about God, because that is where it begins".