Sunday Sauce: BellyBook.com
Published:Sunday | June 20, 2010 | 12:00 AM
Oxy Moron, Contributor
I am not the slimmest person around town, and I don't really bother myself about how people look. People are who they are, so I let them be.
Having said that, I have been always taking stock of my appearance, trying not to gain too much belly weight, but the work I do and the assault on my body by gravity and free radicals are a big challenge to my efforts. Yet, I really don't look as old as I am.
But, of late, I am beginning to have serious doubts about my slow ageing process. I have been wondering whether I have been fooling myself, even though my mirrors seem to agree with me. The source of my misgivings are my childhood friends and former schoolmates who are literally popping up on Facebook.
Their faces are so meaty, you can't see their eyes. Some even have three chins. But, it is the big bellies, some going all the way down to their knees, that are the most frightening.
I must admit we haven't seen each other in a quarter century, but man, what happened? Even former star footballers and athletes are looking like they are 25 years pregnant. The site should be renamed BellyBook.com.
However, it was a former flame of mine who almost caused me to deactivate my account. When I got her message notification and friend request, I was ecstatic so I promptly accepted. Memories of the bliss we used to enjoy came in torrents, though I saw her marital attached to maiden name.
Shock
I did a quick search, and pop went her profile picture of big, rosy cheeks and two chins. Nothing is wrong with those, so I went to her albums and my fluttering heart simply stopped beating.
This once-petite young lady with a knockout figure looked as if she had swallowed three tyres. I slowly disgested the massive transformation, revived my catatonic heart, and sent her a message. As I said, people are who they are.
Alas, life sucks, and then you die. But, before death comes that humongous gut.