Duty calls

Q. I am from a low-income family and my father is the sole breadwinner. My mother recently fell ill during the summer and my younger brothers and I have been taking care of her.

School has restarted and my brothers are back in school so I am the one taking care of her, while father is at work. Mother's illness is stretching the little money father works to support the family.

I have completed my tertiary studies at a university in Jamaica some months ago and want to help by getting a job. However, I have been unsuccessful.

I recently discovered though, I have an option of joining the British army by joining a corps in the area of my studies. However, I feel I would be abandoning my family even though I would be able to send money to them. I do not know what to do, as seeking a job locally has been extremely unfruitful and my family needs more money to survive.

Should I stay and take care of my mother while continuing looking for a job or should I join the British Army and try to help my family from thousands of miles away?

Please help me counsellor.

A I am saddened to hear about your economic woes which is not surprising in Jamaica's current environment. Your situation has worsened because of your mother's illness. Surveys in the United States of America has discovered medical expenses are a major cause of family indebtedness. Therefore, your situation is not unique. You and your brothers must be commended for your compassion and maturity in caring for your mother. Coupled with your father as the breadwinner, it demonstrates there are responsible men in Jamaica. Furthermore, you want to help your mother and family even more. That is commendable and I wish you all the best.

Your dilemma is a real and difficult one. New jobs are very rare in Jamaica. You must be sorely disappointed that although you have a degree, you still cannot find a job or create one. And you now have an offer to enter the British army which is thousand miles away from home. However, why did you not try for the Jamaican army wherein you would be closer home to your ailing mother while still getting an income? However, if the lure of more money is why you prefer the British army over the Jamaican army, then I understand. Or, there might be no opening in the local army.

Talk with your parents

You need to talk with your parents about the options available and ask for their advice and what they think is best for the family. It does not seem you are trained to take care of your mother on a long-term basis. At best, this is just a stop-gap effort which, obviously, your siblings and yourself have been trying. However, caring for a mother is a difficult job and needs trained and experienced hands. It can become distressing. She will soon need a competent caregiver and that needs money. Your father's income is insufficient and you need to supplement it. It is a difficult decision to leave home and friends but it seems to be the lesser of the two evils. Caregiving is not your calling and is not sustainable. If you do not get a job here, you would have to consider pulling up roots and trying out for the British army.

Contact the counsellor at editor@gleanerjm.com.