Think before you act
Published:Sunday | July 17, 2011 | 12:00 AM
Master your feelings, don't let them master you
Glenford Smith, Career Writer
The July 1 shooting of 17-year-old Khajeel Mais by a BMW X6 motorcar driver has caused shock and outrage among Jamaicans. Many are wondering how anyone could be so callous as to shoot someone over a damaged car. Is it possible though that in our indignation we fail to see a connection between the X6 driver's response and our own attitudes at work and in life?
Khajeel lost his life, not because of the accident. People meet in serious accidents every day without anyone getting shot, or even exchanging angry words. He lost his life because of a firearm holder's alleged inability to control his rage.
So, what does that have to do with you and your career? Well, isn't it true that people have said and done things to you at work that made you so mad, upset and angry that you felt like hurting them? And can't you identify with what one individual said to another who had infuriated him? He said that if he had a gun he would have shot the other. Fortunately, he didn't. So no one got to find out what would have happened. That's an important point right there.
Most of us don't have guns, thank goodness, but we have other weapons which we use to hurt others and often sabotage our own best interests in the process. Many persons have got so infuriated at their bosses or co-workers that they cannot control themselves. They just tell them whatever comes to mind to insult, embarrass or put them in their places. Others go the extreme of physically assaulting them, words are not enough for them.
The result is that many lose their jobs, destroy their work relationships and earn the reputation of being a hot-head. If you're serious about your career success, you cannot afford to let your feelings of anger, embarrassment or aggrievement make you lose control. You have to think before you act. You have to discipline yourself to respond in a way that serves your best career interests.
Emotional brains
Psychologist and author of The Emotional Brain, Joseph LeDoux, proposed almost two decades ago that our brains operate in two phases which he called the emotional and rational brains. Building upon his work, Dr Daniel Goleman, in his seminal work, Emotional Intelligence, stated, "A view of human nature that ignores the power of emotions is sadly short-sighted. When it comes to shaping our decisions and our actions, feelings count every bit as much - and often more - than thought. For better or worse, intelligence can come to nothing when emotions hold sway."
In other words, even highly intelligent people with big degrees are driven to irrational behaviours when they get angry and upset. That is the reason self-control is so critical. If you have the intellectual acuity of Einstein but lack impulse control, your career may be at risk. No, you may not shoot someone because you don't have a gun, but you may shoot off your mouth and hurt your career.
Glenford Smith is a motivational speaker and success strategist.