POOR ENGLISH

The Jamaican education system is pregnant again, pregnant for an Englishman.

A conception by choice rather than by chance, always with a plan.

In the GSAT, CSEC and tertiary-level examination room, many a testing she has received

Gestation period by deficiencies marred, one hundred per cent safe delivery will not be achieved

Year after year, she travels this road, multiple births she has wrought.

A few healthy offspring she has always produced, the majority not as they ought.

Prolific in her production of malnourished offsprings has created a crisis.

So here again in the assessment room she sits, anxiously awaiting the diagnosis.

Mr English man is distraught, so he has met with several associates.

That his offspring are not representing his name will have sparked numerous debates.

His children do not sound like him. He laments over what he has done wrong.

After all, he is very much a part of them. His genes are just as strong.

This must be one of those genetic flaws that amongst certain nationalities are more rampant.

Oh how he wishes that his and their mother's tongue, like blood group AB, were co-dominant.

Then despite the educational ghetto of poor teaching and substandard learning conditions,

A bilingual education would most certainly secure future generations.

Likewise, poor language use, or the interference of patois, the Jamaican dialect,

Would not disempower his offspring or have adverse effect.

But poor Mr English is disheartened as his is the recessive gene.

His traits of writing and speaking proficiency, though present, remain unseen

Finally the gynaecologists appear; yes from several he has sought consultation.

As to how his offsprings can have at their disposal, the main instrument of communication.

To tackle this humongous problem, one advised him, and in English make your children fluent

Be prepared to be treated like a foreign language and be taught to the same extent.

One suggested having the foetus nourished with large doses of oral treatment

As this would provide a firmer grip on Mr English's standard, and dissolve factors deficient.

Perhaps if the mother's tongue is formalised and fed to the child,

It would probably improve literacy and comprehension, another surmised.

The thought of his offspring being empowered to use the language appropriately, lightened Mr English's face.

There is hope that the next time his seed is planted, it would yield joy and not disgrace.

- Maxine Boyd