Father Files - Oh, my commanding tyke!

Mel Cooke, Gleaner Writer

Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye! Servants and peons, commoners and peasants all! In this the 20th month of the reign of 20-month-old Ayele-Ali Brenton Melville McLean Cooke, it art hereby decreed that his every word shalt be heeded!

Disobey at thine own peril of cruel and unusual punishment of the minute monarch, ye ole regent of the tippy toe, the prince of diapers and don of the diaper screeching at the top of his lungs, contorting his suddenly red face and manufacturing tears!

Oyez, oyez, oyez!

Yup, the transformation has been sudden and severe. In a matter of days, it seems, Yele has moved from mumbling a few word fragments to barking commands. And he expects them to be obeyed, although whether o Sure, he used to let his wishes be known in no uncertain terms by action, leading the current subject by the hand to the place he wants them to do fetch what he wants.

But now it is words.

Aunty M seems to be getting the brunt of the dictatorship, the most extreme case of which took place early last week. Yele was giving his directives, which Aunty M did not seem to have been following to his satisfaction. So what does he do? Take his stance, look her in the eye and command "listen to me!" Hmm! She lucky him never stamp a foot too!

Then there was the time when he wanted me to come to him. He called "Daddy!" He called again "Daddy!" No Daddy appeared. So he said "Mel!" No favourable response. So what does he say next? "Mel Cooke! Mel Cooke!" I nearly collapse! Nobody calls me Mel Cooke at home. I do not know how he knows that version of my name (which is really Melville Cooke), much less to say it.

The command goes to the dog as well - as in the male dog, because although there are two, the lady dog does not get his attention. It is all about Max, which Yele pronounces "Mash". So the command is "Here, Mash! Here Mash!" Somehow, though, 'Mash' does not seem to always get the message. I wonder why.

Yele has been calling our next door neighbour very loudly for a very long time. Picture this set-up. The other house is down a hill, about 75 metres away. Ayele is on the veranda, pushing his head through an opening between the concrete posts (or whatever you call them). He spots the neighbour down the hill, opens his mouth and yells "Chen! Chen!" And Chen looks up and says "yow!" And Yele grins and says "yow!" back.

Okay, so sometimes I give him a yow or two as well, much to the disapproval of W. She has reserved an extra dose of disapproval for my introduction of Yele to one of the greatest dancehall trademark slangs of all time, from none other than the Mighty Bounty Killer. When I say "cross!", Yele says "cross!" When I say "hangry!" he says "hangry!" When I say "miserable!" he says "able!"

Ah well. He will get it one day.

I would like to think that his language skills have been helped immensely by the alphabet songs which he has been enjoying recently. Give thanks to YouTube. There are all types of ABC songs, but the one he enjoys most involves animals - Allie Alligator, Oscar Otter and such the like. We are watching it together, Yele sees a jaguar and shouts "Mash!" He sees a donkey and shouts "orse! Orse!" Now that gets me. I am in love with the 'h' sound, so I try with him over and over. Now he gets the "horse" more often and I am a 'appy man.

Hmmm.