Chinese table manners

Most of us will recall that when we were growing up, we were constantly being told to mind our manners especially at the dining table. The manners we were taught were mostly based on European ways.

Our Chinese elders scolded us too, but the difference is that some of their eating habits were different. As a matter of fact, so different were some of these customs that they were often scorned by non-Chinese.

First, there was no knife and fork, and spoons were given only if there was soup. Chop sticks and bowls were the eating tools.

For the Chinese, the job of the diner was to pick up the food and place it in the mouth. They say the job of the chef is to prepare the food to make this as easy as possible. So the food was cut into bite-size portions. Soup and rice were eaten directly from the bowl.

In Chinese custom, there are no serving spoons. The meat and vegetables are placed in a single main dish, and each person helps themselves piece-by-piece with their chopsticks. This is frowned upon by Westerners as they feel that persons put the chopstick in their mouths with each piece, and then return to the communal dish. They consider this unsanitary. But if you observe carefully, the chopstick scarcely touches the mouth. Not even at the end of the meal must you lick or suck on your chopstick. It must never be used to pick bones etc., out of your mouth. It is acceptable to spit out bones on a plate or napkin.

The host may turn his chopstick around, or not, and place a choice morsel in the bowl of his guest, and when you take a piece out of the dish, you must be sure to take from the side directly in front of you; no stirring, or stretching to another side.

To make this easy for the diner, there is quite often a Lazy Susan (a rotating plate), which allows the movement of the dishes (clockwise, never counter) to the diners as required instead of having to lift and pass them around. This is present in most Chinese restaurants. If there is no such equipment, the dishes are placed closely together in the centre of the table within equal distance from each person.

Now there is always more than one dish of meat or vegetables. The Chinese are very superstitious people. So there must be an even number of dishes, odd numbers are bad luck. If one of the dishes is a whole fish, do not turn the fish over when the top is finished. This is not polite and is a bad omen. Allow the host to take the backbone off to show the other half. And, by the way, your chopstick must not rest directly in the rice bowl touching the rice. This is done only when rice is offered to the ancestors, hence a symbol of death. Also, don't allow the teacup to go dry during a meal, and offer to pour for those immediately beside you , it's polite, and shows friendship.

The seating at table is one of the most important rules of dining. The guest of honour must be seated first, then the host or head of the house, followed by all the other diners. You only begin to eat when the host says so.

Contrary to western customs, it is perfectly acceptable for you to burp and slurp at table. Burping says you enjoyed the meal, slurping says it is delicious.

Unless you have been invited, avoid visiting a family home during meal times, as the host is bound by custom to invite you to share the meal. Since they were not expecting you there may not be enough, but they must offer. To satisfy courtesy they must offer, and you must politely refuse the first offer. A second offer is made which you must also refuse. After two offers, courtesy is satisfied on both sides, and you may accept if a third offer is made. The third offer means that there is enough and they would really like you to eat with them. This you may also politely refuse with the remark, "I have already eaten".

China is very varied, and some of these rules may not apply everywhere, but if you observe these, you are likely to be on the right track.

Finally, if you have to use a toothpick at the table, please use your free hand to cover your mouth while you do. And bear in mind, do not eat hurriedly. Your host will always say "Man, Man sit" or in Hakka, "Man Man hyack", meaning take your time. Take your time to enjoy the meal.

- This article is courtesy of the Jamaica-China Friendship Association.