Are you caught in the sandwich generation?

Tomlin Paul, Contributor

Are you one of those caring for your children and parents while taking care of yourself? It may be that at this time of your life your parents are facing illness and disability, and with lowered finances, they are becoming more and more dependent on you. You have no choice but to be there for them. You may also have to be caring for young children, who bring an expected set of demands on your time and resources.

While giving of yourself to these two generations you are likely also working on your relationship with your spouse, your career or job situation. So are you feeling the stress and strain?

Like many others in this period of life, you may be caught in the 'sandwich generation' - a term coined in 1981 by social worker Dorothy Miller.

What's in the sandwich?

This dimension of family life brings out that great sense of responsibility and the virtues of caring and sharing, but there are going to be many days when you feel the squeeze. I have listened to stories of many encounters over the years.

"Doc, I have been meaning to come and check on my pressure but just can't find the time. I feel so stressed and tired these days. You know it's hard to pay the bills and keep the kids in school. And my last is doing CXC this year, and not settling down as yet. By the way, my mom's memory is now so bad we had to take her in to live with us. So we now have to pay someone to be with her during the day. I find I am not sleeping well, and my husband is barely talking."

That's a mouthful! And that's just from one patient!

Mega-sizing

You might have been doing this as part of your daily routine and never called it anything except a hectic and draining life experience. But it is fast becoming a common encounter as life expectancy increases, and with it more chronic diseases and disability; inadequate income and pension add to the toll. You may even find that having done all you can for the children, they either don't leave home or move back in with you in their later years as jobs become harder to find. That's quite a sandwich!

Coping strategies

Living among and across the generations is not all bad, but if you are caught in the middle and really feeling the squeeze, here are a few coping tips:

• You have to put aside some time for yourself. Pull your oxygen mask down first! Sleep, have healthy meals, exercise, get some recreation and keep positive in spite of it all.
• Find additional resources. Especially with caring for an ill parent, don't go it alone. Recruit more family members or even church friends and neighbours and get all involved.
• Hire someone if you can to help, or if not possible, explore community resources like the National Council for Senior Citizens, network of clubs and activities.
• Plan for the future so that you can proactively manage issues of illness, schooling and finances. Avoiding one less crisis can make a big difference.
  

Healthful Tips - Sweat it out

According to experts, sweating cleanses the pores by opening them up and releasing the grit and grime that has built up inside them. It rids the body of toxins by flushing them out. Human perspiration reportedly contains a naturally occurring antimicrobial peptide called dermcidin, that has been proven to fight tuberculosis germs and other dangerous pathogens.

Sweat regulates the body's temperature by evaporating on the skin to prevent overheating. Regular exercise sweats out salt, and tends to retain calcium in the bones, rather than have them go into the kidneys and urine where stones are formed. So, go ahead, sweat it out.