Alfred Dawes | Quitting social media

I have been off social media for a while now. For the few who noticed, I paused writing as well. I needed to refocus and recharge at a watershed moment in my life. Change is hard. Life is hard. Obviously, I am back at scribbling for the entertainment of the few who suffer this frustrated scrivener, funnelled into medicine by circumstances. However, returning to posting on social media regularly is a tad more difficult. I am more at peace just lurking occasionally. Social media has just become too toxic and has created a reward system that promotes the most abhorrent manifestations of human nature. It is hard to go back.

Conceived as a means by which people from across various cultures, religions and countries could connect as a true collective, social networks have devolved into a medium for even greater divisions. Hiding behind a screen, the unfiltered opinions of users lash out on anything they oppose, or they simply tear down each other for the sake of tearing down. It is too much to scroll past a post or comment that is deemed upsetting. And boy, does everything upset everyone. It is hard to find all positive comments even on an inspirational or happy-go-lucky story. The detractors always appear and find something nasty to say. Some are simply trolls looking to be the smartest commentator with the most likes, but some are just there to tear down.

FEEDING FRENZY

Downfalls are celebrated. Rumours go viral. Fact checking is seldom done as a feeding frenzy develops after the slightest politically incorrect gaffe, or poorly thought-out joke. Everyone is offended by everything, every day. It is outrage porn. And we are addicted. We flit from cause to cause without giving a hoot about those affected. Businesses are boycotted. People cancelled and lives destroyed in the blink of an eye. Cancel culture even has a time machine. That tweet in your youth can get you cancelled after decades of building a career.

Liberals who dream of equality for all, and that nobody should be made to suffer for being different, destroy all who stand in their path in the name of the progressive movement. Conservatives who desire the freedom of their own choices endeavour to limit the freedoms of those who have desires not in line with theirs. The worst part is that they both espouse free speech, except when it is from the other side.

Beliefs are reinforced by the feed. The algorithms determine from what sources you like to get the “facts” to reinforce your unwavering beliefs. There is no minority report. If you are a conspiracy theorist everyone else is sheeple. The dangerous quacks who dare think differently from the herd are a danger to humanity. Religious zealots, racists, perverts and criminals all get their curated circles and thus double down on their obsessions. That is how the Internet has evolved in linking us together. It is not the hands across the world uplifting each other dream, it is a nightmare of fake news, cancel culture, hate groups and narcissism. And we love it.

Good for marketing

The pressure of content creation is what I miss the least. The truth is social media is good for marketing. Good for business and self-promotion. I use it for my work. Yet I am at heart an introvert. “You need to post more personal content”. “The people want to see what you do outside of work”. “Do this challenge!” “You need more viral content.” Etc, etc. I don’t want to. Especially when the smiles and gimmicks are a mask, when I know in the moment I am not smiling when the camera is off. But you have to. You need to. The algorithm says so. The team says you must. This will ring true for many. Few admit it.

The anxiety of growing a following, getting likes and going viral is a natural part of life on social media. It is why we do dangerous challenges and look ridiculous for greater engagement. It is why a woman dry-humps a dog and children are forced into uncompromising positions by adults or their desires to go viral. I don’t miss it. I get outraged less.

I don’t miss scrolling through photos of people living beyond their means to impress people they don’t know in real life. I don’t miss wondering if people enjoy their travel destination as much as they enjoy the idea of posting where they’ve been. I’ve seen them. Click click tourists. All selfies and never enjoying the sights, sounds and smells. Just pose, click, post and move on to the next site.

Everyone displays the best of their lives. Filters and fakes are par for the course. Ask Bow Wow. Looking on, each feels they’re not where they should be for their stage. It breeds depression in some. For others it is anxiety over continued relevance mixed with depression over the gap between their real and social media lives. Why do we do this to ourselves?

It is not all doom and gloom though. There are positives. Social media is still informative and diversifies information sources. We can still connect with friends and appreciate the opinions of others. It can be a tool to spread positive information to a wide audience more efficiently and less expensive than with mainstream media. The latter may be the only real draw to return to the toxicity of social networks. Till then, keep scrolling and less trolling please.

- Dr Alfred Dawes is a fellow of the American College of Surgeons, CEO of Windsor Wellness Centre. Follow him on Twitter @dr_aldawes. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and adawes@ilapmedical.com.