Michael Abrahams | My good, bad and ugly social media journey

“What is Facebook?” I asked over a decade ago when my wife had signed up and encouraged me to join. She explained that it was a great place to network and find people with whom I had lost touch and would like to reconnect with.

Today, many years later, I have not only been active on Facebook, but also have accounts with several other social media sites, including Instagram, Twitter, YouTube and WhatsApp. My social media experience has been interesting, to say the least. Through this medium, I have indeed found and reconnected with people from my youth who I love dearly but, in some instances, had no idea where they were. In addition, it has also enabled me to make new friends and forge new relationships with people who have had a positive influence on my life.

Through social media I have learnt, and been educated about, an exhaustive list of topics, ranging from science and medicine to human behaviour and the arts. I have gained from tutorials on surgical techniques, guitar playing, origami, drawing, painting, the culinary arts and various DIY projects. Social media also led me to the practice of mindfulness meditation, which I have since incorporated into my daily routine, and which has been one of the most positive life-changing experiences I have ever had. Social media has also allowed me to share my thoughts and artistic endeavours with others, and in some cases entertain and even educate and, hopefully, positively influence the thinking and behaviour of those who follow me.

NEGATIVE ASPECTS

But along with the good, social media has also opened my eyes to much of the negative aspects of humanity. The amount of information out there is mind-boggling. Unfortunately, along with the useful information is misinformation and disinformation. And there is a lot of it. The false and misleading information has deceived me on several occasions, leading me to embrace the principle of fact-checking. Some information is so beautifully and convincingly packaged that it is easy to gobble it up and accept it as ‘gospel’. But there are so many persons with hidden, and often nefarious, intentions that social media has become a virtual (literal and figurative) minefield.

The disingenuity of many has been an eye-opener to me, especially on platforms such as Instagram and Facebook, where people post photographs and narratives pertaining to their lives that are false. Some will be in toxic and abusive relationships, and post pics of them and their spouses laughing and embracing as if they are living their best lives. They will embellish, or outright lie, about their qualifications, accomplishments and competence in certain fields, and use filters and other methods to alter their appearance.

The conversations and debates I have entertained on these platforms have also taught me a lot, from several perspectives. There are people I have met or got to know better online who have not only educated me by sharing valuable information, but have also influenced me to think critically and objectively. Some conversations have also helped me to learn patience and tolerance, and to know when dialogue with some people are futile, as they only present themselves to dogmatically declare their own narratives or to troll.

DEVELOP THICK SKIN

My social media experiences have enabled me to develop a thick skin. Having become a public figure has caused me to be embraced by many, but has also made me a target for vitriolic comments, verbal abuse, and being falsely accused and labelled. Comments that I would have absorbed and taken to heart years ago now depart from me like water off a duck’s back.

Looking back on some of my interactions, I feel conflicted. On one hand, I appreciate that the negativity has helped to make me more resilient. On the other hand, I realise that I have wasted much time arguing with people I do not and may never know, when that time could have been spent more constructively interacting with people in my life who are more worthy of my attention.

These days my use of social media is a bit different. I use the platforms to keep up to date and connected with those who follow me, and to share information. However, my engagements are less than before, as I have opted to give more attention to those in my real tribe, those in my actual space, than those in my virtual one. I also spend less time there, as the constant barrage of negative news that is inevitably posted online does little to enhance my mental health, and may even negatively affect it.

Finally, I would like to take this opportunity to express gratitude to everyone who has ever interacted with me in those spaces. To those who have shared information with me that was valuable, and to those who corrected me or called me out when I made errors, or was being unfair or unkind, thank you. To those who were unfair and unkind to me, thank you too, for helping me to become more resilient.

Michael Abrahams is an obstetrician and gynaecologist, social commentator and human-rights advocate. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and michabe_1999@hotmail.com, or follow him on Twitter @mikeyabrahams.