Kristen Gyles | When a bundle of joy brings sadness

Another baby left for dead…

The recent news of how a newborn was found in a bag hanging from a fence in Vineyard Town has, for many, generated a strong feeling of disappointment regarding our sense of humanity. What we, the consumers of the news, are now forced to consider is how our own humanity is likely to be affected when we are faced with the worst of hardships life has to offer. Whether it is that a baby has been found, left to die, in a rubbish heap or abandoned in the parking lot of a hospital, the tear-jerking story of child abandonment and its many variations are no longer so uncommon. Nor is the question that is typically asked when such news breaks. How could a mother be so heartless?

Really, how could she?

That some women try to discard their newly born babies suggests they are giving birth to babies they did not want. It takes a very destitute and desperate mother to simply throw away the baby she carried internally for several months. Such an action stems from a sense of hopelessness and defeat that most will fortunately never experience. It might therefore be, possibly, maybe, just a little judgemental to speculate over exactly how ‘cruel’ and ‘heartless’ a mother would have to be in order to abandon her own child.

There should be some willingness to consider from a macro perspective, how these unfortunate incidents materialise in the first place. Now would be a good time to remind ourselves of a few sad realities. According to the World Health Organization, of the estimated 21 million pregnancies that occur annually to adolescents aged 15-19 living in low to middle-income countries, 50 per cent are unintended. Many of the teenage girls associated with these unwanted pregnancies have been the subject of predatory grooming and other forms of sexual exploitation. Pregnancy was not the goal.

CREATIVE WAYS

In fact, in our local context, considering the numerous personal development sessions in schools that focus exclusively on abstinence and that find creative ways to instil a fear of teenage pregnancy, pregnant teenagers tend to carry around a less-than-positive stigma and have a hard time manoeuvring the social ostracism they face in some circles. Life is therefore no ‘walk through the meadows’ for young, pregnant mothers.

Further to that, society’s most vulnerable girls are largely those who become pregnant during their teenage years. Where they lacked crucial support, whether financial, emotional, or educational, prior to becoming pregnant, where exactly will the appropriate support come from suddenly when the baby is born? In such cases, the outcome is often an unsupported teenage mother, improvising her way through motherhood all on her own, and with the disgruntlement of having her life turned upside down. I can’t say I would want to be her baby.

And then, young mothers are not the only mothers who struggle. When a woman who can barely afford to feed herself feels she has less than nine months to figure out how she is going to feed a crying baby, she is likely not to look at her pregnant belly as very much of a ‘blessing’ or ‘bundle of joy’. And when a woman who has all the money in the world discovers she is pregnant for a man who has sexually assaulted her, she is also not likely to smile every time she considers her pregnancy.

MANY ISSUES

There are many issues that have the potential to destroy the beautiful bond that should exist between a mother and her baby, before it is even formed. We therefore ought to be a little less prescriptive about how we think pregnant mothers should feel about their babies, especially when we know absolutely nothing about them and their circumstances.

With that said, what can the society do to provide greater support for mothers who are about to give birth to babies they do not want? What are the options after giving birth?

Is abortion the only ‘solution’ we can offer to a mother carrying an unwanted baby? While many women might genuinely desire to abort a pregnancy, we know that many others are either hesitant about inducing an abortion or will simply never access a safe abortion. We also know that abortion carries its own risks. So, let’s explore how we can provide more of the kind of help that makes pregnancy easier, despite tough circumstances. And a part of what makes pregnancy easier is the peace of mind that comes with knowing there will be reasonable options after delivery.

Thankfully, the little one who was rescued earlier this week in Vineyard Town is now safe and sound, and apparently has candidates lined up, ready to adopt her. This is evidence that many Jamaicans are willing to adopt a child. Unfortunately, the design and structure of our adoption system makes it easy to surmise that any adoption of this baby, like many others, won’t be completed any time soon. This is what needs fixing.

But, en route to a more robust and efficient adoption system, counselling and continuing education services such as those provided by the Women’s Centre of Jamaica Foundation can go a far way in reaching a young, pregnant woman who feels her life is over. Hopefully, with greater enabling, this and other agencies with a similar mandate will be empowered to do even greater work such that no mother will feel her best option is to leave her baby to die.

Kristen Gyles is a free-thinking public affairs opinionator. Send feedback to kristengyles@gmail.com.